“Will it, Maxx?” I asked with venom.
Maxx grabbed my hands and pulled me toward where he still sat on my bed.
“I don’t know,” Maxx said after a beat. But he gave me a beautiful smile. “But we’ll try our damnedest to make it okay.”
He got to his feet and wrapped his arms around me, pressing his lips to mine.
“I love you, Aubrey Duncan,” he murmured against my mouth, his blue eyes twinkling wildly.
I sighed and couldn’t help but smile back at him. “I love you, too, Maxx Demelo.”
He squeezed me tightly, and I let myself enjoy it for a moment longer. “Let me go talk to Renee. Give us a few seconds before coming out, okay?”
Maxx nodded. “Go do what you need to do,” he urged me.
I walked out into the hallway, softly closing the door behind me with a quiet click. I stood there for a minute feeling apprehensive.
“Stop acting like you’re heading to the firing squad,” Renee called from the living room, and I rolled my eyes.
She knew me too well.
I found her sitting on the couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table, her chemistry book open on her lap. Her eyebrows arched when I walked in, and she patted the spot beside her.
I sank down onto the couch, and she closed her book. “So, first of all, sorry about that,” Renee said, jerking her thumb in the direction of my bedroom.
I felt my face flush.
“And second, what the hell is going on?” Renee asked, getting straight to the point.
I couldn’t really tell if she was angry, but I saw her obvious concern.
“What happened toI’m never going back there again? What happened to that woman who realized how destructive a relationship with Maxx was? How do you go fromI won’t let him in my life againto hopping into bed with him? I’m a little confused.” Renee frowned and looked exasperated.
“I guess we’re both doing things that surprise us,” I countered. Renee flushed, her eyes narrowing slightly.
“If this is about what you saw... Just because I chose to do something stupid doesn’t mean you can,” she argued.
“This has nothing to do with that, Renee. God! It’s just... things feel different.”
Renee snorted in disbelief, and I straightened my back defensively, knowing how ridiculous I sounded.
“Okay, I know how that sounds. I also know that it looks like I’m just another silly girl allowing herself to be led around by her vagina,” I grumbled.
“From what I just walked in on, I’d say that was an accurate description,” Renee agreed.
“I’m going into this with my eyes open this time. No more head in the sand, living in denial. I promise. I know I was adamant about keeping Maxx out of my life, but what if my head is wrong and my heart is right? I don’t want to find myself five years from now wondering what if I had given him another chance. What if this was my time to be happy.Finally!”
“Okay, I understand that. I really do, but have you even thought about what this will mean for your chances of getting back into the counseling program? What will you tell Dr. Lowell the next time she asks how things are going? Will you just come out and say,Well, you know that guy I’m supposed to stay away from? Well, we’re bumping uglies again. Ain’t love grand?” Renee’s hardened sarcasm surprised me. I hadn’t expected her to be so bitter.
I reached out for the Department of Education catalogue that still lay on the coffee table. “Yeah, I’ve already thought about that,” I said, holding it up.
“Is that why you’re talking about changing your major? I was joking when I suggested that in the coffee shop. I had no idea it was the truth!” Renee looked stricken.
“Yes and no, I guess. I just think that I went forward with counseling to fix something broken inside of me. That’s a really selfish reason for wanting to help other people. And, yeah, being with Maxx is a huge ethical violation. One that if I was dedicated to my chosen career, I wouldn’t be making.” I dropped the booklet back onto the table.
“But that’s not really the point of all this, is it? Because you can’t be this pissed about Maxx. Sure, I get that you’re disappointed and worried, but you seem pretty freaking angry.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
Renee’s shoulders had sagged, her mouth turning down. “I guess I just wanted one of us to be strong enough to keep on walking.”
