Murphy yelps and I feel bad. I don’t want to make him scared.
I am being loud and angry and I don’t like it.
Kevin told me once that I should count backwards when I feel upset. That I need to go to a happy place.
But my happy place is with Ellie.
And she’s gone.
She should be on the interstate by now. It is two hundred and sixty-nine miles to her school. She will be driving for four hours and thirty-two minutes. I helped her calculate the distance. She will need to stop for gas in eighty-three miles.
I feel better knowing where she is going and what she is doing.
She said she’d call me when she got to Maryland.
I scratch behind Murphy’s ear in the way Ellie says he likes. Then I get the broom and clean up the mess.
**
“I’m here,” Ellie says and I’m happy to hear from her. I watched the clock all day. Then I would look at the map and follow the route I knew she was taking.
She should have gotten to Baltimore an hour ago. Why was she only calling me now? I had worried, thinking something was wrong.
“You should have gotten to Baltimore an hour ago,” I say.
“I had to find the school first, Flynn. And then I had to get checked in and figure out where to go.” She sounds irritated. Mad maybe.
Why is she mad?
Did I say something wrong?
“Oh,” I say.
I hear Ellie make a noise that’s a lot like breathing.
“Things are different now, Flynn. I won’t always be able to call you when I say I will. I’ll be busy. You have your new teaching job. I have school. You have to be…flexible.”
I start tapping my fingers on the table. One. Two. Three.
One. Two. Three.
“Flexible,” I say.
“Yes, Flynn. Flexible. Things aren’t going to be exactly as you expect them to be. You can’t get mad or upset if things stray from normal.”
I don’t like what she is saying. Why won’t she call me when she says she will? If she says she will call me, then she should. It’s the polite thing to do.
“It’s rude to not do what you say you’re going to do,” I tell her. Maybe she needs to be reminded like I do sometimes.
Ellie makes that loud, breathing noise again.
“Flynn…”
I don’t like how she is saying my name. I know she’s mad at me. I’m learning to hear the feelings in people’s voices.
I know Ellie’s feelings because she will tell me.
“You’re mad at me,” I say, knowing I’m right.
