Pastor smiled. His smiles were strange things. They didn’t seem to be born from happiness. They were mired in grief. In hope. In everything he took on for the rest of us. His smiles made me sad for him.
“Tell me about The Awakening, Sara,” he prompted softly. He stood at the wall of windows, his back to the sun. It’s dusky glow like a halo around him. I had to look away. It burned my eyes.
“The Awakening?” I swallowed. My tongue felt thick. Too big for my mouth.
Pastor Carter nodded.
The Awakening.
My head buzzed.
My heart thudded.
The Awakening.
I wasn’t scared. I was… exhilarated.
“We are all waiting for our Awakening. We pray to be taken so that we can start again. In a new world. In a new life. Away from the pain of the outside. Away from the destruction of a greedy earth and a life of darkness.”
My words took on the impassioned breathlessness of the eager. Of the fervent.
Pastor Carter crossed the room to where I stood. He took my hands. Smooth palms. Cold skin. I relaxed. Like a prayer, he soothed me.
“What if I told you The Awakening is soon?” he murmured. I wasn’t sure I had actually heard him.
I straightened my shoulders. “I say I hope I’m ready,” I said steadily. My eyes felt hot. The tears threatened.
Pastor rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. “I’ve watched you since you were a girl, Sara. You’re different than the others. Different than your mother. Better.”
I felt immeasurable pride.
Better than my mother.
I loved her, but Pastor had to know how much those words would mean to me. He wasn’t blind to the strange competitiveness between us. One that came from her insecurities, not mine.
“Tell me about the Awakening,” he said again.
I frowned. I didn’t understand. What did he want me to say?
I knew I had to please him. I wanted to. I had spent years existing in the bubble he had created.
“We are all waiting for our Awak—”
“No,” Pastor Carter interrupted. His voice sharp. That one word slicing me open.
I sucked in a breath. The pain of not doing what he wanted acute.
“Tell me aboutyourAwakening,” he corrected. Then smiled again. So painful.
“My Awakening…” I said slowly, drifting off.
Smile.
“It’s time to prepare, Sara. Your soul has to be ready.”
I felt a mixture of so many things. But I recognized very real fear as the most prominent.
Pastor Carter must have seen it on my face because he took me in his arms. He held me close. The way a father would. Almost.
