“Maybe we could start with something small,” I ventured. Sara looked at me warily. “What’s something you remember from when you were a kid, from before you came here, that you miss?”
Sara gnawed on her lips. I could tell she was agitated. Her knee bounced up and down. She clasped her hands in her lap so tightly I could see the whites of her knuckles.
But she didn’t get up and leave.
She stayed sitting on the log beside me.
It was a small victory.
I half expected her not to answer me. To pretend I never asked her anything. But she didn’t.
“Chocolate chip cookies,” she said softly.
“Really? You haven’t had a chocolate chip cookie since you’ve been here?” I asked incredulously.
“You know we don’t eat sugar. Pastor says it’s a toxin and that our bodies must be clean if we’re to be accepted into heaven.”
“Yeah, I knew you guys didn’t eat sugar, but I didn’t know that was the reason. He can’t be serious?” I started to laugh but stopped myself when I saw the miserable expression on her face. Even though I told myself I’d control my reactions to the ridiculous things I learned about this place, I was still taken aback by the level of control exerted over The Gathering members.
I got to my feet and held out my hand. “Come on then.”
She frowned. “Where are we going?”
“To make chocolate chip cookies,” I told her.
“We can’t. We don’t have sugar or chocolate. Plus, we’d never be allowed—”
“Are you going to tell me there’s nothing in that huge kitchen that we can use to bakesomething?” I raised my eyebrows.
She was chewing on her lips again. She had made them bleed. The anxiety she was feeling, evident. “Maybe. We bake cakes using honey sometimes. And flaxseed cookies, which are nice. But there’s no way we can use the kitchen without someone seeing us.”
“Then let them see us. There’s nothing wrong with making some damn cookies.” I couldn’t keep the irritation out of my voice. I took a deep breath and when I spoke again, I kept the anger out of my tone. “Look, I’m not asking you to jump off a cliff, only make a batch of cookies. It’ll be fun. Promise.” I gave her my most endearing grin. The one my mother swore got me out of every bad grade—every missed class. I could be charming when I wanted to be.
Sara hesitated but then seemed to make a decision. She got to her feet, her expression determined. “Okay. Let’s go make cookies.” She sounded as though we were going off to war.
“Awesome,” I said as she took my hand. We had started walking back towards The Retreat when I pulled us both up short.
“What is it?” Sara asked with concern.
“Um, do you know how to make cookies?” I asked, seeing the one fatal flaw in my plan.
Sara stared at me long and hard.
And then she started laughing. The kind of laughing that made your eyes water.
It was the best sound in the world.
We pushed our way through the trees. Sara still held my hand. It was such a simple thing, but it spoke volumes. It felt more intimate than kissing her had.
“I wonder what honey cookies taste like…” I started to say when a sound caught my attention.
It was a low keening sound. Like an animal in pain. It grew steadily louder and louder until every hair on my body stood on end.
“What is that?” Sara whispered.
I knew the sound all too well. I recognized it instantly. I dropped Sara’s hand and started running towards the house where David and I were staying. I could hear her footsteps behind me, trying to keep up.
I could see a group of people just outside my door. Anne stood off to the side, hands covering her mouth, tears dripping down her face.
