I relaxed, relieved that the moment of accidental transparency was over.
“Come on, then, unless you want to hang out in the hallway all evening.” Mason led me into the living room, where he had music playing. The Dandy Warhols. He was a man who remembered every detail. I just had to keep them all straight.
A bottle of wine and two glasses sat on the coffee table. He poured me a glass and handed it to me.
I gulped it down, barely tasting it.
I almost jumped out of my skin when he put a hand in the center of my back. The heat of his palm seared my flesh through my clothing.
“Take it easy, or this will be a really quick evening,” he teased, his thumb running a trail back and forth. I wanted to move away. To put distance between us. My head rebelled against the closeness.
My heart wanted me to give in.
Without conscious thought, I felt myself leaning into him. I couldn’t help it. Whether I wanted to or not, I was becoming accustomed to the way he touched me. Addicted to the fizzing in my veins at his proximity.
He wasn’t at all what I had expected when I made the plan to get close to the federal agent in charge of my case.
He had been a name. A face on a website. The hero in newspaper articles.
Random. Nondescript.
I hadn’t been ready for the flesh-and-blood man.
Why hadn’t I thought this through? Why hadn’t I prepared myself for this feigned closeness that felt so much like the real thing?
“Don’t mind the lush,” I said, chuckling uneasily, putting my now-empty glass on the coffee table and turning in to his arms.
He pushed my hair back from my forehead, his fingers lingering. “I wish you’d tell me what’s on your mind,” he murmured.
He wouldn’t let it go.
It was what made him so successful at his job. Why he was such a threat to everything I had worked for.
“All I’m thinking about is you,” I insisted.
“Somehow I doubt that.” His words were wary. “I wish you were, but I can see in your eyes that something’s troubling you.” Then he kissed the tip of my nose. It was such a surprisingly gentle gesture, full of sweetness that had me melting.
He kissed the corner of my mouth, his nose rubbing my cheek. I closed my eyes, trying to catch my breath.
He was lethal.
“I like you, Hannah. I like you a lot. I don’t want to push you or move too fast, but I can’t seem to help myself. I want to spend time with you. I want toknowyou.” His soft words warmed my skin, his kisses light as he dug his way into places I was determined to keep him out of.
I felt the doubt again. It was becoming a permanent fixture in my hardened resolve.
This was more than I had bargained for.
I had to change the course of the conversation quickly. I needed to put us back into territory I was more comfortable with.
A place where deceit didn’t matter because he wasn’t looking for the type of intimacy I couldn’t give him.
I couldn’t have sweetness. Tender caresses and heartfelt reassurances.
I couldn’t risk it.
Purposefully, I slid my arms up and around his neck as if we had always been like this.
Together.
