I wanted to ask him if he was okay, but I knew he’d only tell me a lie.
And I couldn’t stomach his dishonesty.
“Why are you over here by yourself? Are you okay?” Yoss asked, sitting close, but not touching.
I wanted to tell him everything. About Amanda’s visit. About my mom. About how much I wanted to cry.
But I looked up into his face and I couldn’t.
Here was a boy barely holding himself together. He seemed as though he wanted to curl into himself. I wanted to shield him from everything horrible. Everything ugly.
Just as he had been trying to do for me.
Yossarian Frazier wasn’t an overly complicated person. He was smart. He was thoughtful. He was generous and kind. He was loyal to a fault.
And he was someone who had been forced to make choices that would shatter most people. I could see the fragments being chipped away little by little as he struggled to hold on.
Yet he still sat beside me, with concern on his face, wanting to know ifIwas all right. When it was obvioushewasn’t.
So I wouldn’t add my baggage to his overburdened shoulders. I couldn’t do that to him.
“I’m fine. Just wanted some alone time. It was getting a little loud over there,” I said with as sincere a smile as I could muster.
Yoss glanced over my shoulder towards where his friends were hanging out and nodded. “I get that.”
We both stared up into the sky—red, orange, purple, vibrant, violent colors.
“Did you ever read fairytales as a kid?” I asked him suddenly.
Yoss frowned and gave me an amused smile. His too red lips stretching uncomfortably. “Yeah, I guess so. Why?”
I shrugged. “I always liked the idea of a happily ever after. That no matter what horrible things happened to people, everything ended up exactly how it should. With the perfect kiss. The fancy wedding. The evil stepsisters being forced to work as maids in the castle.” I laughed self-consciously. “I think maybe now more than any other time in my life, I could use a fairytale ending.”
I startled at the feel of Yoss’s hand on mine. He carefully, so gently, laced our fingers together.
Palm to palm.
“Tell me a story then, Imi. I want to hear a happy ending.”
A happy ending.
What did one of those even look like?
I continued to stare into the sky and I felt something inside of me shift.
With Yoss’s hand in mine I knew something with a certainty that came with being young and crazy about a boy who was crazy about me.
My happy ending was Yoss.
Yoss’s happy ending was me.
So I gave him the story I wished we had. The one that was full of fantasy. Improbable. Unrealistic. But there was truth in it as well.
The best kind.
“Once upon a time there was a girl from a happy family. She was loved and adored and never wanted for anything. She spent her days surrounded by friends and family. She smiled all the time, never having a reason to cry.” Yoss squeezed my hand and I took a deep breath.
“One day she met a boy who was just as happy. And together they realized how wonderful life could be. He wanted to take care of her. She wanted to stay by his side.” Yoss rested his chin on top of my head, and I leaned into him.
