“Okay. Bye, Imi.” Amanda gave me a quick hug and then hurried off, stumbling in her ridiculous heels. A few of the guys called out to her. She ignored them, all but running up the embankment.
Seeing Amanda had been jarring. I felt depressed. Overwhelmed.
My mother didn’t care where I was. I had suspected it, but the confirmation was a blow. She was living her life as though I weren’t missing. It wouldn’t matter to her that I was living on the streets.
She just didn’tcare.
I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs, watching the sun dip lower and lower. The smell of smoke drifted on the breeze, music and laughter sounding so far away.
I stared out towards the river as the day disappeared. I felt dirty and sticky and I wished I could take a shower. I was starting to forget what it felt like to be clean.
I was lonely. But it wasn’t a new feeling. I realized I had always felt that way. Even when I was surrounded by friends. Even when my mother and I were in the same room.
My heart clinched painfully.
I wasn’t alone with Yoss.
For the first time in my sixteen years I felt as though someone genuinely cared about me. My needs came first. My comfort. My happiness. My safety.
I missed Yoss.
I hated when he was gone.
I hated even more where he went.
I tried not think about the things he was doing. Or with whom. Manny’s army of baby-faced hustlers was common knowledge. I noticed that he moved in on the youngest kids, making them feel wanted. Important. That was why Yoss had lied about my age. Manny knew that the youngest were the most desirable. Not only for the men he sold them to. But it was easier to take advantage of their youth.
He wasn’t the classic abusive pimp. He was much, much worse.
He was…nice.
I had learned that Manny didn’t protect his kids with violence and fists. He wouldn’t have been able to do that. He wasn’t tough. He didn’t have muscles. He couldn’t fight.
Instead he used his charm. His affable demeanor. And he used the money he earned off the backs of the boys and girls he claimed to take care of.
He was the king of our sordid kingdom. No one messed with him because at some point, everyone needed what he could offer.
Food. Clothes. Drugs.
He had it all and he shared it with those that pleased him.
You didn’t cross Manny.
You either loved him or you were left out in the cold.
I wasn’t sure how long I sat there as the sun continued to set. Then I saw a familiar figure walking along the bank. He was coming from the direction of town, his head bent low, his shoulders slouched. He had his hands tucked into his jeans and he dragged his feet as he moved slowly towards the bridge. He moved stiffly, as though in pain.
My heart instantly leapt at the sight of him. And then it fell just as fast.
This is what broken looked like.
He was almost upon me before he finally looked up, finding me sitting there on my pile of crumpled rock, watching him.
“Hey,” he said softly and his voice sounded strange. Tight. Strangled.
“Hey,” I said back. I studied his face closely. His eyes were dull. His lips red and swollen. There was a cut on the side of his cheek that bled sluggishly.
“Can I join you?” he asked and I nodded.
