“Why not?”
Yoss shrugged, holding up a branch up so that I could duck underneath it. I came up short, our chests brushing together. I craned my neck to look up at him. It was darker in the woods and incredibly quiet. Almost as if we were in another world.
Yoss sighed and took a step back. “It’s just down this path.” He pointed to well-worn footpath that cut through the thick trees. We continued walking in relative silence until we reached a clearing cut through the woods. In the middle stood a falling down house. At one time it was obviously beautiful. But time had forgotten about it.
It was the perfect place for Yoss.
Where he could disappear.
“How did Gail and Perry find this place?” I asked as we made our around the back of the house.
“I’m not sure. They never said and honestly I didn’t really care to ask. It was a roof over my head.” Yoss stopped suddenly and braced his hands on his knees breathing deeply. “Just give me a minute.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, noting the fine sheen of sweat on his face.
“I need to catch my breath, that’s all,” Yoss snapped and then grimaced. “I’m sorry, ignore me. Clearly fresh air makes me cranky.” He laughed. It was strained. He straightened after a few minutes and we continued to the house.
“You know, when you first mentioned Gail, it sort of sounded as though you were together,” I chuckled. He had told me she was with his friend Perry, but part of me wanted to make sure.
Yoss’s breathing was still heavy but he seemed okay now. He gave me an amused look. “I wasn’t with Gail. I told you that already.”
“Did you live with anyone else?” Why was I digging like this? It was stupid. What did that have to do with now? With him and me?
We stopped by the back door. Yoss’s turned the knob and looked down at me before going inside. “I haven’t been with anyone since you, Imi. Not inthatway. Not for love.”
I swallowed thickly, my throat uncomfortably tight. “It’s been fifteen years, Yoss. You don’t need to bullshit me. I don’t expect that you haven’t cared for someone else since we were together.”
He touched my face. Just for a moment. The pads of his fingers pressing into my skin. “It’s true.” His eyes burned into mine. “You were the last.” I couldn’t look away from him. “You were the only.”
He dropped his hand and stepped into the house. My body trembled with the barely suppressed emotion that only he could elicit.
“It’s so dark in here,” I said, tripping over something as I followed Yoss.
“No electricity of course,” Yoss replied, weaving through rooms with familiarity.
I couldn’t make out much of the place where he had been living except that it was cramped and smelled like mold and rotten garbage. There wasn’t a lot furniture. A couch. A small table and chairs. There were piles of clothes in the corner of what I assumed was the kitchen. All of the appliances had been removed at some point and the cabinet doors hung off the hinges.
“It looks as if no one lives here,” I observed as we walked up the creaky stairs leading to the second floor.
“It’s hard to say. It doesn’t look much different from when I was here a couple of weeks ago. No one’s here right now at least,” Yoss said, walking into the first room on the right.
“This was your room,” I said, trying to mask my horror. I could see a moth eaten wool blanket thrown over a stained mattress in the middle of the floor. Yoss had again fashioned shelves out of cinderblocks to house his collection of odds and ends. A battery operated camping lamp stood on top of a pile of books.
Yoss didn’t respond. He found an empty trash bag and started shoving clothing inside. “There’s not much I want to take. The rest of this shit can stay.” He picked up something purple and shoved it quickly in the bag.
“Wait a sec,” I called out, reaching into the bag and pulling out an old pillow in the shape of a fuzzy, purple heart. “How do you still have this?” I asked in disbelief. I could see where part of the polyester fabric had been burned and it still bore the evidence of the fire that had ruined our lives.
“I went back for it. Well not just this, other stuff. But it hadn’t been completely destroyed. So I took it,” Yoss explained as if it were no big deal.
“I can’t believe anything survived that fire.” I carefully put the pillow back into the bag, touched and aching that he had been holding onto my something that had belonged to me for all these years.
“You went back to The Pit?” I asked, watching him gather up his meager belongings.
“Yeah, I did. A few weeks later. I just wanted to have look. Maybe find some of Bug’s stuff to give to his family. I didn’t expect much. So much had been destroyed.” I felt a pain in the center of my chest at the mention of our friend. “I couldn’t find any of his stuff. Where he had been sleeping.” Yoss took a deep breath, as if to steady himself. “There was nothing left.” His eyes were wet when they met mine. “He never had a chance.”
I couldn’t help myself. I reached out and took his hand. He squeezed my fingers, holding on. “Anyway, it was strange, but the area where we had been sleeping wasn’t too bad. Sure, the smoke had ruined some of it, but a lot of stuff was okay. The pillow. Your clothes. Even your toothbrush. It was all there. I hadn’t losteverything.”
“Yoss…”
