I swat him behind me. “That was because of your fucking awful enchiladas, and we were never going to mention that again, remember?!”
“Again with the shouting,” he says wryly. I groan, and he laughs. I like the sound of his laughter, even when it’s attached to one of my most embarrassing memories. It makes the cringe factor worth suffering through. “As I was saying, you haven’t been all sunshine and roses. Well, unless the rose was covered in a shit ton of thorns.” He nudges me playfully. “And I wouldn’t have you any other way. I wouldn’t trade any of our worst moments for anything in this world.”
I can’t really speak. I mean…what could I possibly say to that? It’s everything I could want and need from him.
“So there’s only one question that remains,” he says softly. “Do you feel anything for me beyond friendship?”
And there it is. The heart of the issue.
“I don’t feel nothing,” I say, so quiet I almost mouth it. I need to tread very carefully here. “I don’t know how far that goes, though. And I don’t want to lead you on or do anything to screw you over.”
“But you don’t feel nothing,” he says, his voice low and yet still glowing.
“Sorry for the double negative, but that’s the most accurate way to put it.” I shrug, fidgeting with my rings, twisting them this way and that.
He turns around. I don’t. A tingle runs down my spine. I can feel him looking at me.
“May I try something?” he murmurs. I nod, not trusting my voice. After a few seconds, I feel his warm breath where my shoulder meets my neck. His beard tickles my skin before his mouth gently brushes me, hot and soft, making me tremble. I feel his tongue take a tiny taste before his lips withdraw. My eyes close, and my skin is set alight where he kissed it.
“How did that feel?” he whispers.
I don’t want to say anything. My mind goes completely blank. All I want is more of that feeling. It’s like a door has been opened and light is pouring out, engulfing me in warmth and peace. I lean back against him, turning my face closer to his. His mouth is so close to mine…
And he turns away.
Oh, god. Just one kiss on the shoulder and he’s done with me? Do I smell bad or something?
“I think you need space to think on this some more.” He’s back to looking across the sea, avoiding my gaze.
Bollocking hell.
He’s right. But also…my heart sank when he pulled back, and my instincts told me I wanted more. And, having been denied that, it’s made the desire for it to happen a lot sharper now.
Which has given me plenty to think about.
Sadie: I’m so sorry about ditching your wedding [sad face emoji] And your post-wedding brunch [three sad face emojis] You know I love you, right?
Emily: Don’t worry about it. How are things…? [big smile emoji]
Sadie: Confusing. I don’t want to talk about it.
Emily: That’s OK. Want me to drop by with Pringles?
Sadie: Thanks but no. Just need some alone time. ILY.
Emily: ILY2, here for you whenever you need xx
CHAPTER FOUR
Sadie
The new creme brulee lattes Emily picked up for our coffee maker are heaven sent.
I used to have specific favourites I didn’t deviate from, but now I make a point of trying all the flavours she can find. The only dud was a pistachio one that didn’t really taste of anything, but the others have been a nice glimmer of yay for my days in the parlour.
I take a long, creamy sip and savour it, sighing happily.
“Whatever flavour made you sigh like that, I want one,” a voice says behind me.
