I wanted him to feel exactly as hot and sexy as he was. Selena’s opinion didn’t matter. People’s stupid ideas about dick sizes didn’t matter. Eric was hot, and I was bound and determined to prove that to him.
I ran my hands up his back and looked in his eyes. “So would you think I was slutty if I told you I wanted to suck you off again?”
He bit his lip, eyes full of hunger. “I don’t think ‘slutty’ is the word I’d use.” He leaned in closer, letting me feel his hardening cock. “I’d just think you’re a man who likes giving head, and who am I to judge?”
I grinned. “Don’t judge. Just stand up and put that dick down my throat.”
His eyes widened a little, as did his pupils. “Right—right here?”
“Why not?”
He studied me for a heartbeat or two. Then he kissed me lightly before he rose. Water ran off his gorgeous body, and he was at full attention now, his cock at the perfect height for my mouth.
And I made sure he knew exactly how much I craved his dick, his body, andhim.
CHAPTER 17
ERIC
When I woke up, I was immediately aware of two things.
One, my body ached all over. Some from yesterday’s ride. Some from fooling around with Jesse.
The second thing? The warmth of Jesse lying beside me. He was still asleep, his back to me as he breathed slowly and softly with a few inches of space between us.
I closed my eyes and smiled. This was one of my favorite parts of being with someone—sleeping next to them. Even if they snored like that one ex or stole the covers like another, there was something intimate and comforting about sharing a bed. Over the past few weeks, I’d missed that more than I’d realized.
I rolled toward him and draped an arm across his waist. When that didn’t seem to bother him, I slid closer, molding myself to him. Jesse murmured in his sleep and stirred a little, pressing back against me. His hand found mine, and he laced our fingers together. A moment later, he was out cold again.
I kissed the back of his shoulder and just basked in being this close to someone again. In being this close to him specifically.
As I listened to him breathe, yesterday afternoon and last night played out in my mind, and goose bumps sprang up onmy back and shoulders. We’d only been able to do so much, but wow, it had been hot.
And if I’d had any doubts that Jesse meant what he said about how much our size difference didn’t matter, those doubts were gone now. Both times he’d gone down on me, he’d done with the kind of relish I hadn’t experienced inyears. Some people gave oral like it was a chore or a step toward something they really wanted. Jesse gave head like it was the single hottest thing in the world, and he didn’t act like he was disappointed in the least by what I had on offer.
Maybe instead of listening to Selena and society, I should listen to the man who’d sounded on the verge of blowing his load while my dick was down his throat.
I smiled to myself. My only disappointment was that we hadn’t been able to fuck. I didn’t need it every single time, and especially with anal, it wasn’t going to happen every single time. That was fine. I just really,reallywanted Jesse like that. I wanted to top him again. I wanted him to top me. God, I wanted to doeverythingwith him.
When we were both less sore from yesterday’s trail ride, it was on. I couldn’t wait.
Despite my blissed-out mood, though, uneasiness crept in. I tried to ignore it. Tried to tamp it down. Tried to talk myself out of it.
But the more I fought it, the more it shoved its way to the forefront of my mind.
Am I actually ready for this?
What was “this,” anyway? Just sex? Or something more? Because yesterday didn’t feel like a hookup. Holding him close while he slept right now didn’t feel like the morning after a hookup.
Fuck. We were friends—becoming really good friends—and nothing about this felt like two guys just screwing because they were horny. It felt like…
Well, like something that had potential to be more than sex.
I wasn’t ready for that. A casual hookup with someone I’d met on an app, maybe. Jesse and I hadn’t broached the subject of what we were doing—whether this was just friends with benefits or had potential for more—but wewerefriends. In my experience, friends with benefits worked when it leaned harder on the benefits than the friendship. Casual sex with a close friend—that had ended in disaster a few times, usually because emotions got messy.
I didn’t want that with Jesse.
It had only been a few weeks since I’d found out about Selena’s infidelity. I was literally supposed to be on my honeymoon right now. The wound didn’t feel as raw as it should have, but that was probably because I was still, on some level, processing everything. The real pain—the real grief—was undoubtedly on its way.
