Hooking up with each other would be asuper-bad idea. We shouldn’t, we couldn’t, and we wouldn’t.
I just hoped Jesse had more self-control than I did.
Because bad idea or not…
I fucking wanted him.
CHAPTER 14
JESSE
Maybe it was divine intervention, maybe the fact that I couldn’t breathe—whatever the case, I somehow didn’t cry out when I came all over my hand and stomach.
It sure wasn’t a lack of intensity; I’d come hard before, and I’d come hard before while fantasizing about Eric, but goddamn. This orgasm did a factory reset on my brain. Fuck.
Eyes closed, heart pounding, I sank back onto the mattress, fingers still around my dick as a few aftershocks crackled through me.
Holyshit.
For a long moment, all I could do was lie there and enjoy the feeling. What I wouldn’t have given to be holding on to Eric right then, maybe buried inside him while I trembled and tried to catch my breath. Or maybe with him still buried in me, rock hard and still while I came down, then gently picking up speed again until he came too. Or him grinning up at me after swallowing my cum.
“Jesus Christ,” I whispered into the silence, and I rubbed my clean hand over my face. I wanted him so damn bad, and tonight hadn’t helped.
Neither would lying here with cum on my hand and stomach, so when my head stopped spinning and my knees stopped shaking, I got up to clean myself up. In that moment, I kind of wished Eric had taken the main bedroom with the en suite instead of both of us sharing the hallway bathroom. The thought of running into him on my way to wash my hands—that could be awkward, even if he had no reason to think I’d been jerking off to thoughts of him.
He didn’t come out of his room, though, and I returned to my room, stripped off my sweats, and got back into bed without incident.
I didn’t fall asleep. That heady post-climax lethargy was closing in, plus the effects of the weed still lingered, but my mind was racing. The conversation out on the deck kept running through my brain. So did that moment at the top of the stairs when I’d been hit with this sudden need to kiss him, and from the way he’d been looking at me…
Fuck. Maybe I should’ve. Maybe we’d be in one of our beds right now, tangled up and naked. But no, I’d been a coward. Or maybe he’d been the one to break away—I wasn’t even sure. There’d just been a moment where I’d wanted to kiss him so bad, it had almost felt inevitable. The next minute, we were in our separate rooms.
Was it just the weed? Maybe the conversation outside? Because even though the conversation hadn’t been flirtatious, we had brushed dangerously close to the topic of the two of us having sex. Which could havealsobeen the weed. I didn’t know. What I knew was that I’d genuinely meant to reassure Eric that he was more than adequate, and I hoped I had. At the same time, though, I’d opened the floodgates of all those hot, amazing memories from the one night I’d spent in his bed.
I’d felt guilty remembering those moments while I’d been with Selena. It felt like cheating, reminiscing about the man we’dboth been with that night, because I thought he’d broken her heart. But now I knew the truth about her and about him, and now I was free to think about the man who’d rocked my world that night. The man who was sleeping across the hall right now.
And who currently lived in my guestroom.
I closed my eyes and exhaled. Yeah, I was going to lose my mind. And my God, I wished our circumstances were different and we could have a one-on-one rematch of the night we’d fooled around. No threesome, no baggage—just Eric and me, naked in bed and winding each other up and driving each other wild.
It wasn’t like fantasizing about someone I’d never been with. I wasn’t creating an unrealistic mental porno that would be a letdown if we ever hooked up in real life. Iknewhow good Eric was in bed, and Iknewhow much chemistry there was between us.
Everything about that night had been hot as hell. The only thing I’d kind of regretted was that I hadn’t topped Eric. If I’d had anything left after he’d sucked me off and then fucked me, I’d have given him the ride of his life. If he wanted it, of course. I would’ve understood if he didn’t want to take me—some guys didn’t, and with those who did, prep could take a long time. Fun with two people as long as everyone involved was patient, but it could really slow things down for a threesome. Considering the whole point of the threesome had been to fulfill Selena’s fantasy? Yeah, that wouldn’t have worked.
And I hated that Selena had ever given him any reason to be self-conscious about what he was packing. How anyone could want to make him feel that way, I had no idea. All I knew was how good he’d felt. Sure, I’d been inside Selena at the same time, so I’d been in sexual sensory overload, but he was the one who’d sent me into the stratosphere. I’d already been in ecstasy, butthe moment he’d pushed inside me—fucking hell, just thinking about it now made my toes curl.
I’d been more than satisfied that night. Of course, if he’d wanted me to top him, I’d have given it to him in a heartbeat. I didn’t think I was imagining the longing way he’d gazed at my dick a few times, but we hadn’t gone there, damn it.
What if we had that chance during this trip? No one to focus on but each other. No worrying about someone feeling left out. Just the two of us, all the time in the world to drive each other wild…
I rubbed my eyes as I sighed again. It wasn’t going to happen. I knew it wasn’t.
But damn if that would do a thing to make me stop fantasizing about it.
I struggled to look Eric in the eye the next morning, but I hoped he didn’t notice. I really didn’t want him to ask, because I wasn’t so sure I could explain it away. Or that I wouldn’t just blurt out“I jacked off thinking about you last night, and that orgasm almost put me into a coma.”
Avoiding hiseyeswas a double-edged sword too; was this man unaware of how good he looked in gray sweats and nothing else? The way they clung to his ass and thighs, how they sat on his narrow hips, the outline of his package beneath the fabric—fuck me. Did I have time to rub one out in the shower before we left?
Turned out I did have time, and I made use of it. That settled me down enough that I hopefully wouldn’t embarrass myself.
