My insides twisted. Though I was almost certain I knew the answer, and that I didn’tactuallywant confirmation, I asked anyway: “Because you didn’t know she had Instagram? Or because you followed her on a different account?”
“Different account,” he rasped.
I reached for my glass and drained it. As I topped it off again, Jesse continued.
“I didn’t think much of it in the moment, but it bugged me. So before I finished with her laptop, I looked at the account again. Then when I was on my phone, I looked it up.” He made a mock toast gesture with his beer bottle. “And… there it all was.”
“Wow,” I said. “That must’ve been a kick in the balls.”
“One after another, yeah. The wedding planning posts were a hard hit. But then when I saw a photo of you and her…” He shook his head slowly. “That’s when I realized she was still with you. That I was her…” He grimaced and stared out into the night. “I swear to God, I have never felt more disgusting than I have since I found that Instagram.”
“I bet. And you two—it started after we all hooked up?”
He nodded slowly. “She texted me a couple of weeks after. She was all upset because you two had broken up, and…” Jesse made a disgusted sound and rolled his eyes. “I just had to play the white knight and offer to take her out to get her mind off things. We ended up back here, and I never suspected a goddamned thing.” His jaw worked as he shook his head. When he spoke again, there was a brittle edge to his voice, “I still can’t believe I was that stupid. Like, looking back, all the red flags were there, but I was just…” He pressed his lips together. Then he swiped at his eyes and muttered, “Fuck…”
I gave him a moment to collect himself. Curiosity was prodding at me, but I wasn’t in this to kick him while either of us was down.
Turned out I didn’t even need to ask. “She very, very rarely wanted to stay over, and she never had me back at your place.” He scoffed. “She said there were too many bad memories there, and even sex with me would still be weird because we’d all—the three of us—fooled around in that bed.”
I winced, those once sexy memories turning my stomach now.
“I couldn’t believe how many photos she had with her friends on that account,” he went on. “She swore she’d only had mutual friends with you because she’d moved here to be with you. So when you two broke up, she didn’t have anyone else. And her parents live like half a dozen states away.” He let his head fall back against the sliding glass door. “I bought it all and didn’t think anything of never meeting her friends or family.” Raking a hand through his hair, he added, “It’s so damn obvious now.”
“Fuck,” I muttered. “She thought of everything, didn’t she?”
“Except making sure I didn’t see that browser tab,” he grumbled into his beer bottle.
“Yeah. No kidding.”
He put the bottle on the table and looked at me. “She has friends and family here, doesn’t she?”
Pursing my lips, I nodded. “She grew up here. Her parents live fifteen minutes away from—from the house she and I rented.”
Jesse laughed bitterly. “Of course they do.”
We sat in silence for a while. It was again Jesse who broke that silence. “I wonder what her endgame was.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, how long did she actually think she could do the double life thing? Especially since I’d made some noise about—” His eyes flicked toward me. Then he lowered his gaze and sheepishly murmured, “I’d… Like I said before, I thought we’d get married.”
I winced. He had mentioned that previously, but I’d all but forgotten. My head was just swimming with so much these days, I lost details. Hearing him tell me again was like hearing it the first time, and it fucking stung.
“Sorry,” he said.
“It’s not your fault. We both got fucked over. I don’t even…” I paused to pull my thoughts into order. “We’re both victims inthis, you know? And like, I’m angry that I’m sad at all. About losing her. About any of it. I should hate her for what she did, but right now, I just… I miss the woman I was engaged to.” I rewound what I’d said, then let go of a bitter laugh. “Damn. My old counselor would be so proud.”
Jesse chuckled too. “I know, right? Who knew all that therapy would come in handy?”
“Seriously. Just don’t tell her about the…” I picked up the Jack Daniels bottle and gestured with it before splashing some more into my glass.
“Secret’s safe with me,” he muttered. “And I don’t think it has to make sense. There’s no manual for this shit, you know? I’m just glad you didn’t get pissed at me. Not that I would’ve blamed you.”
I was already shaking my head. “I think it was too much of a shock in the moment. And then about the time I would’ve gotten mad, I’d thought about it enough to realize you didn’t do anything. Hell, you saved me from marrying her. And…” I gestured over our shoulders. “You’re giving me a place to stay while I get my shit together.”
“Kind of seems like the least I can do.”
“No.” I shook my head again, more emphatically this time as I scratched Chili’s rump. “You don’t owe me a thing, Jesse. You did me a huge solid by telling me. Helping me get out and giving me a place to crash—that’s above and beyond.”
