I’m half-naked, tucked under my blanket with Family Guy flickering on the TV. She staggers over and kicks off her heels with a dramatic groan, then drops onto the edge of my bed like this is her nightly routine.
“I’d ask how the breakup went, but judging by your face, I can already tell it wasn’t easy.” She slurs, her bright glassy blue eyes fluttering.
I disappear under the blankets a little more, releasing a long, tired sigh. “Girl he actually had the nerve to say we’ve changed—like that somehow makes it okay for him to go run off and fuck somebody else. Let alone someone we both know.”
Arina rolls her eyes. “Wow, how predictable. Guys swear they’re not simple, but they all run the same tired games—hooking up a mutual friend is so… typical.”
“And when I told him we were done and to get the hell out, he didn’t even argue. He just… stood there, like he’s been waiting for me to finally give up.”
“And then he hit me with a stupid have a good life. Like that’s suppose to make any of this hurt less. Like I didn’t spend years trying to be enough for him. Like seriously—that’s all I get?”
“Aww, babe…” she slurs, leaning forward like she wants to hug me but might fall in the process. “Listen to me—he should’ve fought. Heshould’vetried. But he didn’t—hic—and that’s on him. Not you. You’re worth more than that. You’re—hic—worth fighting for. And he’s gonna regret it when he sobers up from his stupidity.”
I nod, lips curving into something that barely qualifies as a smile. “You’re right. I had to walk away. Now I just need to be outside, and distracted. I swear, I’m about to build a whole lineup just to keep my mind from going back to him, even for a second.”
Arina groans, throwing herself back across the bed like she barely survived the night. “Thank Goooood, my wing woman is back,” she slurs, flinging her arm over her forehead. “Can I crash here? My room is—” she points at the mirror, totally wrong direction—“ wayyy over there, and I’m not dragging my ass all the way down that hallway.”
I roll my eyes, laughing. “Is it really? Because I couldn’t sworn your room was on the other side of my door. But fine—you can stay. Just don’t scoot on my side and try any funny business.”
“I’m not thaaat drunk, she slurs, smirking. “You’re cute and all, but you not my type.”
We burst out laughing, until I can’t tell if we’re giggling or gasping for air.
“I love you, girl. Get some sleep,” I mumble, rolling over—only to see she’s already passed out cold, spread out like she owns the bed.
Chapter Seventeen
Outside
I
t’s been months since Jacob and I spoke, and I keep pretending I’m over it. But honestly? I’m not. Not all the way. I miss the company, the attention—the sex. So, I’ve been keeping a rotation. Nothing serious. Just enough to keep my brain from spiraling. I’m in no position to be searching for the right one.
That shit’s exhausting.
I’m almost twenty-one. There’s still a lot ahead of me, and plenty of people who’ll come and go while I figure out what I actually want.
Right now I’m juggling three guys, and fucking a couple more just to keep things interesting. I don’t owe any of them my heart, and I truly couldn’t care less if I’m their dream girl. Jacob really fucked up myheart, but if I’m being honest, he also taught me something.
He showed me how to stop caring so damn much. How to take a hit without falling apart. He ruined me just enough to make everyone else feel disposable.
So, being selfish actually feels good as hell.
One afternoon I’m laid up with Daniel at his penthouse—pool table, rooftop pool, his lips all over me—and by night, I’m at the movies with Noah, his hand up my skirt while some forgettable Transformers sequel drones on.
Daniel’s fun until he open his mouth about crypto. He spoils me, gives me luxury, fucks me like he’s got something to prove—and yeah, he’s the finest white boy I’ve been with, but that’s only when he’s not trying to get me to meet his parents.
While Noah on the other hand looks harmless—soft eyes, soft smile, baby face that makes it seem like he’s the type to fall asleep holding hands. But the second we get alone, he flips. He’s horny as hell and surprisingly good at everything he does to me. It’s like he hides this whole other version of himself on purpose.
They’re nothing but hookups—straight to the point. I call, we link, we fuck, and everyone goes home satisfied enough. Lately life’s been nothing but a roller coaster, and I’m here for every twist it wants to throw my way.
But after a couple months, keeping the rotation alive gets exhausting. They all catch feelings, whisperingI love youduring sex like it means something. When I made it clear from the start I wasn’t looking for anything serious. Free food, free sex—that’s all it is. And honestly, that’s all it needs to be. I’m not offering anything deeper.
Meanwhile, things at home with Arina have been the usual and even though I’m still not working—I refuse to stress about it.
We’re throwing a Halloween party this year, and I can’t wait. I’ve never thrown a party before—I never even had enough friends to try. But we’ve built a whole little crew. Party friends that’ll pull up to any address we drop. Social media makes it too easy—send out one post, and any house will fill up in minutes.
And tonight’s one of those nights.
