“Make this work for how long?” I whisper in a quiet voice.
He lets go of my hand, raking his through his hair as he looks out the door towards the main dining area. “I don’t know but we don’t have to make any decisions now. Your focus should be on Riley. On yourself. You worry about that, and I’ll worry about the rest.”
We haven't been back together for long. Things are still new. Should we end it before it's more painful to separate? Before our lives become too intertwined.
You can't maintain a relationship with someone when you live in two separate cities, hundreds of miles apart indefinitely, can you?
What if we want to have children? Would they take turns living in different cities?
“All I know is that we don’t have to have all the answers right now, and this isn’t goodbye,” he says, looking back at me, his gaze intense as I nod my head.
This isn't goodbye.
This isn't goodbye.
“Go, be with Riley in Austin. Get to know your daughter. Don't try to have everything figured out right now, okay?"
I nod again. “Okay.”
He stands up and pulls me from where I’m seated flush to his chest.
“This isn’t goodbye, Teagan. Don’t you dare tell me goodbye right now.”
Tears flow as I nod my head against his chest.
This isn't goodbye.
Chapter 30 – Wilder
One month later...
I rarely thought about time before Teagan left for Austin.
Those early years with Willow as a baby flew by as I navigated the challenges of being both dad and mom to her while trying my best to shield her from the world and process my own trauma.
Back then, I still felt like a boy, uncertain about my path in life and failing at every turn. But Willow forced me to grow up and helped me heal. Time moved quickly during those years and the days passed me by and before I knew it, I had an eight-year-old.
However, since Teagan left for Austin, with no return date set, each day feels like an eternity.
I want to give her the space that she needs to bond with her daughter. I can’t fathom the burden she’s carried for the past eleven years or the joy she must have felt when Riley found her at the clinic so unexpectedly, wanting to have a relationship with her now. Still, selfishly, I want her with me. I’ve checked in occasionally via text but mostly forced myself to stay quiet, allowing her to reach out whenever she has the free time and provide her with the space she needs. Because I know all aboutneeding time and space to heal from past wounds.
But now that it’s late October, and the cooler weather has blown into Texas, I’m struggling. The night before she left, I’d planned to ask her to move in with Willow and me permanently. I didn’t see the point in us spending nights apart and I love having her around. Even more than that, she’d become a part of Willow’s world, too.
Her news about Riley changed everything and made me rethink my entire life. I realized that I’m so in love with her, I’d consider leaving the ranch behind and moving with Willow to Austin just to be closer to her if she’d have me.
Hell, I don’t want her to just move in, I want to marry her. But I’ve forced myself to slow down, to give her time.
This morning marked the first cool day of fall, and the crisp air carried a sense of change while I got ready for work—a fresh start to my day. I’d been missing Teagan more than I cared to admit, and with the holidays approaching, I want nothing more than to spend them with her. I’d planned to ask her today how she’d feel about a visit from Willow and me, staying in a nearby Airbnb to keep things low-key, not wanting to disrupt her life with Riley, but as I opened the front door to head out to the fields, there she was, suitcase in hand, looking like she’d walked right out of my thoughts and into my home.
“What... what are you doing here?” I ask. I sweep her into my arms, my lips falling to hers as I kiss her hard. When we finally pull apart, she’s breathless from the intensity, but I hold on tight, not willing to let her go just yet.
“You’re here,” I murmur, nuzzling into her neck.
“I am,” she whispers, then gently pushes back to look into my eyes. “Let’s talk.”
I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I guide her anyways straight to my bedroom. Willow’s still at school so we have the place to ourselves but in here makes me think of herand feels the most like home. “It’s been a long month without you. Can we talk in my bed while I hold you?” I ask.
She nods, strips down to just her bra and underwear, and slips under the sheets that still smell like her while I undress down to my boxers and meet her in the middle, holding her closely against my chest so that I can feel her heartbeat.
