“Falling out of love is hard, mourning that loss is even more difficult. But not giving in to despair and instead finding yourself—the one who existed before he came into your life, before he deceived you—is the most laborious part of the journey. Once it’s done, you’ll be your best self, and there’s no better reward than that.”
His words echo in my mind. I never thought of falling out of love as a form of mourning. No one ever explained it to me in those words, but it’s exactly what it feels like. I’ve been mourning Andrew’s and my lost love before he and Tiffany happened, when he stopped trying last year. I knew somewhere deep down that things were coming to an end, but I refused to admit it to myself for a long time.
The next step…self-healing. Levi mentioned finding myself again, and it all comes down to a journey of self-discovery, which I’ve already begun. I’ve already taken various steps to ensure my own closure. And that closure includes remembering the good and the bad, facing it, and letting go while focusing on myself. That’s how he knows I’m close to the finish line.
“Thank you,” I whisper, swiveling my head to face him.
He laughs. “You need to stop saying that. You’re one of the strongest people I know, Stevie. I don’t know how you do it all.”
Those words hit me straight in the chest in the most amazing way possible. My heart beats a little faster the longer we look at each other. I can’t help the pull I feel toward him. We understand each other. He understands me in ways nobody else has, not even Jenny. Levi and I knowing each other profoundly so soon after meeting can either make us the best of friends or something more. The thought both terrifies and excites me at the same time. Although it’s dark, I can still make out his face in the moonlight. His eyes dip to my lips and up again. It’s the second time he’s done that tonight, and I’m back to wanting something I probably shouldn’t. I even convinced myself I didn’t, or at least I tried. My hands itch, wanting to touch his face, hair, anything.
Screw it.I push ahead and give him a firm kiss before pulling back to see his reaction. His eyes flutter open, and he assesses me once before growling like a feral animal, pulling my hair, and crashing his lips against mine. This is nothing like last night. Our hands are roaming everywhere, but the console is keeping us separated.
Hoping that he won’t stop me like last night, I climb over to his side and like I’d hoped, he encourages me. He lifts me up and places me on top of him. Once I’m in his lap, our tongues slow down, and Levi pulls my hair harshly, making me gasp.
A small groan leaves him, and he bites my lip, causing me to moan and whisper his name in a plea to do it again.
“You like that, baby?” He bites it harder this time, dragging it into his mouth. “Answer me.” Levi’s lips move against my jaw.
“Yes, I like it.” My voice doesn’t sound like my own. The heat building inside of me is triple what it was last night. I feel his dick twitch underneath me, making me whimper. And just likethat, my head is elsewhere. We aren’t in a car, we don’t live together, we aren’t two friends worried about ruining a great relationship. We’re two people living in the moment.
I shift my hips forward, causing friction between my pussy and his dick, our tongues thrashing against the other’s. Levi moans, and it’s one of the sexiest things I’ve ever heard a man do.
This time, I move my hand that’s on his chest lower slowly to make sure he’s okay with it. The sharp pain at the force he uses to pull my head back causes me to grunt, but also sends a spark of pleasure throughout every inch of my body. I’m looking him in the eye once my hand is on the button of his jeans.
I swallow harshly, waiting for him to say something. His hair is messy, his pupils are dilated, and his chest is moving heavily. He pulls me back in for a kiss and lifts his hips, causing me to yelp at the direct contact of his jeans with my clit. Not waiting any longer, I pop the button of his jeans open?—
A flash of light hits us, and a loud voice booms. “Hey! You kids can’t be here this time of night.”
Chapter Nineteen
LEVI
Stevie looks horrified. She scrambles off my lap the second the motherfucker’s voice pierces through.
My window is already partially open, and Stevie turns the car on so that I can push it down the whole way.
“I’m so sorry, Officer.” Stevie’s officially freaking out. She tries to pat her hair down, but there’s no use in trying to hide what we were doing. It might be obvious, but not illegal. Maybe if he had caught us in five more minutes…Nope. Not going there.
Praying that my boner isn’t completely visible to the guy, I take a deep breath and look him in the eye with a tight smile.
“What are you two doing here? Nowhere else to go?” His voice is pure sarcasm, and this is one of those rare times where I don’t want to be the nice guy, because I want to deck the man who interrupted Stevie and me about to…about to…fuck, I’m not sure what. We were entirely in the moment. She was gone, and so was I. It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced that feeling. It’s rare, and I hate the fucker the more I think about how great it felt.
Stevie seems like she’s going to have a panic attack and doesn’t answer the question, so I do. “We were just headed back home. We’re sorry, Officer.”
He rolls his eyes. “License and registration, ma’am.”
Fuck. Me.
Stevie’s face pales. “I don’t have?—”
“I was the one driving, Officer,” I lie, kind of. Keeping my breath steady, I shrug and grab the back of my neck, pretending to look ashamed. “It was easier to make out this way.” Kissing isn’t illegal, but driving without a license or permit is.
He tilts his flashlight again, causing me to cover my eyes partially. “Have either of you been drinking?”
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
“It was only a kiss, sir,” I respond calmly.
