“I better not find out that you’re planning on running off with some strange man like a little whore, Evie.”
“I’m not.” I try to get out of his grip, but he just pulls my hair harder, making me hiss in pain. The whole side of my face stings, but I force myself to remain still. “I haven’t met anyone. I was just saying that maybe there’s another option besides me ending up with Lyle. I don’t want to be with him.”
“Pretty girls get choices,” he says with a harsh laugh. “Girls like you take what they can get.”
My dad shoves me aside and gives the plate a hard kick, sending it flying across the floor. “Pick up this goddamn mess and make me another sandwich.”
I bite my lip and do what he says, just like I always do. I clean up the mess and then make him a new sandwich, using all my willpower to not throw it in his damn face, and then go upstairs to shower. I don’t bother making myself anything. I’ve lost my appetite.
All the hot water is gone by the time I step out of the shower. Using the corner of my towel, I clear off the mirror and cringe when I see the bruise forming on my cheek. Of all the times for me to mouth off, it had to be today. I don’t own a lot of makeup, but I’ve got a bit of concealer I can use. Covering it as best I can, I move on to my hair. Even though I have to put it back for work, I stick my brush in my bag so I can ditch the ponytail after my shift is over. The final touch is my nicest pair of jeans and a long-sleeve, pink-and-grey striped shirt. My black sneakers have seen some miles, but it is what is, and I don’t have the money to replace them.
Before I leave the house, I hide my outfit beneath my work coveralls so no one will be the wiser. My dad’s already well on his way to being drunk by the time I walk past him, and I don’t bother saying anything to him. Instead, I let the door slam shut behind me and hightail my ass out of there before he can yell at me for it. Lyle’s nowhere to be seen, and I pick up my pace before my luck runs out, joining the two other people already waiting at the bus stop.
We only have to wait a few minutes before the bus comes barreling around the corner. I hang back, letting the other two get on first before I do the same. Gale’s smile falters when she sees me.
“What happened?” She eyes my face with a look that’s half sympathy, half fury.
“Nothing,” I quickly say and take my usual seat behind her. “I just fell. It’s okay, Gale. I promise.”
She knows I’m lying. She’s seen bruises on me too many times to believe it’s all from me being a klutz. I had to beg her when I was younger to not call Social Services, convincing her that it would be far more dangerous to take a chance on a home I knew nothing about.
“I decided to say yes to breakfast,” I tell her, hoping to distract her with my news. It works. Her whole face lights up as she shoots me a quick backward glance.
“That’s great, honey. I’m so excited for you.” She turns serious when she says, “Don’t forget that he better treat you right. I don’t care how gorgeous he is. If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, then screw him. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.”
I smile at how protective she is and pat her shoulder. “Don’t worry. It’s just breakfast anyway. I’m guessing it’ll probably be a one-time thing.”
“Then he’s an idiot.”
As if sensing he’s being talked about, my phone buzzes and I quickly dig it out, feeling my face heat up when I see that he’s sent me a text.
Morning, Evie. Hope your work is easy tonight, and I can’t wait to see you when the sun rises.
When I look up, I meet Gale’s eyes in the mirror, and the look she’s giving me is one I know all too well. It’s the pitying look that I’ve seen my whole life, especially from older women. When I was little, it was the other kids’ parents who would look at my ill-fitting clothes and shoes that were falling apart with that same look on their faces, and I’ve always hated the rush of shame it brings. I know Gale doesn’t mean it that way, but I see everything in that look.Poor Evie getting all excited about a boy texting her for the first time.It makes me feel stupid.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she says.
“Like what?”
“I’m just happy for you, and I’m sad that your life has been so hard. Don’t read anything else into it, Evie.”
Guilt hits me and I nod my head at her. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t ever apologize for having pride, just make sure it doesn’t blind you to the truth of things.”
I know she’s right. It’s easy to get mad and misread people and situations. Anger is much easier to feel than hurt, and when people used to stare at me with pity, I’d cling to the rage rather than the hurt that was always filling me up. The truth is those women just felt bad for me. They saw a neglected child and it broke their hearts. I was just too young and scared to see any of that.
She wishes me luck before I get off the bus, and I promise to tell her all about it the next time I see her. As I walk the rest of the way, I send a quick text to Valeri, telling him that I hope he has a good night and that I’m looking forward to seeing him too. Before I’ve even given the lion his usual smack on the ass, I’ve got a response.
See you soon. ;)
I walk into work with a big smile on my face. Not wanting to explain everything to Jerry, I try to keep my excitement tamped down, but I think he suspects something. I’ve always been a hard worker, but I don’t want to be all sweaty and rundown looking when I see Valeri, so I take it extra slow tonight. It’s the first time I’ve ever cut corners and been lazy, but I tell myself I’ll just clean extra hard tomorrow night to make up for it.
The shift seems to last forever, but when it’s finally over, I unzip my coveralls and stuff them in my bag. Pulling out my ponytail, I run a brush through my hair and study myself in the bathroom mirror. The bruise looks even more obvious in the harsh fluorescent light, but I’m hoping it won’t be so obvious outside. It’s probably overcast anyway. Maybe that’ll help.
Shouting a quick goodbye to Jerry, I race out the side door and look around for the gorgeous man that I can’t seem to stop thinking about. I was right about the overcast day, but even without the sun, it’s obvious that no one is waiting outside the library. I keep looking around, hoping he’ll suddenly materialize, but he doesn’t. I walk over to the lion and sit down beside him, figuring that maybe he’s just running late. I don’t have any new messages from him, and when I see Gale’s bus come and go, I start to realize that he’s not going to show up. My face heats up and my eyes get glassy, and the painful reminder of why I don’t ever get my hopes up hits me like a fucking sledgehammer. Pulling my glasses off, I swipe at my eyes and curse my own stupidity.
Chapter 4
