“All right.”
Nate waited for him to continue, but the silence quickly became too much for him to handle, no doubt exactly what Silver intended. He dropped his head, defeated. “Are you going to tell him?”
“That you’re risking your life and reputation by illegally street racing?” He grunted. “That wasn’t my intention. Nuri has enough to worry about without adding the things his little brother gets up to on the list.”
Nate winced.
“Did that hurt?” Silver asked, a creepy note to his voice that hadn’t been there a minute ago.
He went cold. “What?”
“The secret I was referring to before,” he said. “That’s it. I have a serious question for you, Nate.” Silver paused and then asked, “Would you like to see a doctor?”
“There’s nothing wrong with me,” the lie shot off his tongue.
“I didn’t say there was.”
“Then—”
“Many people suffer from depression,” Silver stated. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I’m not ashamed.” He wasn’t.
It was tempting to ask how Silver knew though. Over the years, Nate had become a master at keeping those darker feelings of his hidden from the world. Hell, even his sister, who up until six months ago had lived with him, didn’t know. He was careful not to—
“You think you’re a burden,” Silver’s words cut through his thoughts like a knife and Nate sucked in a sharp breath. “I knew that was it. You’re so opinionated, and yet one look from Nuri can instantly silence you.”
“He raised me.” After their parents had died suddenly in an accident, Nuri as the oldest had been forced to take on all of the responsibility. Eventually, he’d shipped both Nate and Neve here to Vitality in order to give them their best chance at a good education, but the vast distance didn’t change anything.
Every month, the two of them would receive money in their joint accounts to help keep their lives comfortable here. Even when he’d been younger, Nate had recognized the sacrifices Nuri must have been making in order to support not just himself, but his siblings as well.
The sole reason Nate tried so hard to keep his depression under wraps was because he didn’t want to add more to his brother’s plate. If Nuri found out, he’d worry, maybe even get into a fight with Silver and try to take leave off of work and come visit…The two of them had only been married for a little bit now, and while Nate didn’t like the Emperor of Ignite, or think he was anywhere near good enough for his brother, that didn’t mean he wanted to be the thing that came between them.
Nuri was happy?
That was all that mattered. That couldn’t change, not after all the hardships he’d endured for them.
“Will the bike help?” Silver asked then, and at first Nate didn’t understand the sudden change in topic. “Racing seems to make you feel good,” he elaborated. “Will the bike help?”
“Are you…trying to fix my depression?” That was…odd. And unexpected.
“Only you can fix that,” he said. “But I am trying to make it better. You matter to Nuri, which means you have to matter to me.”
“…Thanks?”
“It’s both a bribe and a threat, Nate.”
Well. The gratitude had lasted longer than three seconds at least.
“Your brother wants to visit sometime after New Year, and I’ve approved the leave for us both.”
“What?” Nate’s gaze whipped around the practically empty garage, panic setting in when he thought about the backed-up bills he’d yet to pay. New Year’s wasn’t for another month and a half, but so much could happen within that type of timeframe.
What if they came over and realized how much he was actually struggling? Since he’d yet to return to the races since the incident with Kaz, he’d been relying on his paychecks from Quartet Air. He could barely make both the electric and water payments. If either was turned off while they were here visiting…That’d be almost as bad as Nuri finding out he hated his life.
The life Nuri had literally shed blood, sweat, and tears to give him.
Nate sucked.
