Bay had kept his distance for this very reason, only watching from afar. It should have stayed that way this year as well, but for some reason Sila was here, in his class. He’d thought there’d been a mistake initially, had even been forced to address the issue and ask Sila what he was doing there when his name wasn’t on the registry list.
Sila had merely flashed that bright, friendly smile and explained he was a late transfer in. Apparently, he’d taken a sudden interest in psychology and figured taking the class might help him later on down the line when he graduated and became a doctor.
He was a twenty-year-old kid already considering the wellbeing of his future patients. Further proof that he was too good for Bay, who couldn’t even be considerate of his friends, let alone a stranger he may or may not meet in the future.
He was looking at him now. For real this time.
“Um,” Bay cleared his throat and turned back to the projection screen, tapping away on the keyboard set in front of him, “right. Moving on.”
Which was what he should be doing. Moving the fuck on. Because this was no longer an innocent imaginary tryst. Bay wasn’t a good person and no one could ever find that out, least of all Sila. He should cut his losses now, end the risk of getting caught. But…
How?
It’d been a long time since he’d experienced an emotion this intense and he found he wasn’t willing to let it go. Not just yet. Not when it was the only thing helping him get through his pathetic daily routine.
When it was starting to become his only reason for continuing on.
“We’ll be discussing the different types of stalking you may or may not come into contact with throughout your lives,” Bay said, forcing his voice to remain firm and his expression lax. He would never give away what he was feeling on the inside. He’d keep that a secret along with everything else. Though, it’d admittedly been easier to mask when he’d been feeling nothing. “Remember, if you or someone you know feels threatened, report it to the campus police or the Vitality Police immediately. These types of situations can escalate at a rapid pace, before you even realize you may be in danger.”
Bay risked another glance at Sila, but the student was jotting down notes, back to looking away from him. “There are many different reasons someone begins stalking another person, but what it all boils down to is they want something.”
“Like sex?” Riel Xin, a bold student who happened to be friends with Sila called out, gaining a few interested glances from the rest of the class, as well as a couple of chuckles.
When Sila had walked in that first day, Bay had wondered if he’d joined for Riel. Knowing that he was interested in men was torturous. Now every time Bay saw him so much as talking with another male, the spot at the center of his chest ached with even more longing than before.
It was sick, because he liked it. Bay enjoyed the way it irritated him, how he could ruminate on the subject for hours. At least then he was focused on something, even if it was something impossible and taboo.
Maybe the fact that it was forbidden also helped. The fact it was forbidden and never going to happen allowed him to sneak in dirty fantasies of himself and Sila whenever he got the chance. Those types of daydreams made his skin feel too tight and caused his body to heat in arousal.
The kinds where he tortured himself with imaginings of Sila kissing someone else, fucking someone else…His hands clenched around the edge of the wooden podium he was standing in front of.
Were Sila and Riel having sex? Bay only followed him on campus, and occasionally around main street, where it would be easy enough for him to claim he was out shopping if he were caught. It was difficult, but he’d controlled himself from ever taking things further—had only even stalked the guy home to his apartment building the once, just so he’d know what the place looked like. Unless Sila made a move on someone on campus, where Bay could see, he had no idea who he was hanging out with or getting steamy with in his free time.
It still pissed him off thinking about how August had been allowed to touch him.
He pursed his lips and dashed those thoughts away. These were his students. It was none of his business, no matter how he felt about one of them.
Five years wasn’t that much older, but it was still old enough, especially when the fact he was a teacher got brought into the mix. He and Sila were miles apart and only something extreme would be able to change that.
“Or fear,” Bay replied, forcing himself out of his head. “Could be they’re after a relationship with the other person but don’t know how to properly express their feelings, or perhaps they were already in one, got dumped, and now want an apology. The point is there are many reasons for someone to act this way. Like most other things in the universe, no two events are exactly alike, it’s all circumstantial. What I can teach you is how to navigate through these events to help you potentially spot the red flags that can tip you off.”
Sila raised his hand and Bay hesitated for only a split second before nodding at him to proceed. “Are you talking about antisocial personality disorder? Is that one of the reasons?”
“It can be. Though I urge everyone here to remember not to vilify an entire group of people. Many who are diagnosed with APD get the help they need and are upstanding members of society.”
“And the ones that aren’t?” Sila held his gaze. “What about psychopaths? Do you believe most of them get the help they’re required as well? What if they don’t want it?”
That was an odd turn to take the conversation and, before he could help it, Bay’s brow was furrowing slightly. "I’m afraid that’s another topic for a different class. For now, let’s keep focused on stalking, shall we?”
“Of course.” Sila twirled the stylus in his left hand. “I read that stalking can come from an illusion of love. I understand you’ve just pointed out there are many different reasons, but would you say that’s the most common case?”
“Yes.” Bay was good at keeping his composure, so even though inside he felt a tingle of concern, he was confident he gave nothing away. “Oftentimes, a person can become obsessed with someone to the extent they can even make themselves believe there’s more to the relationship than there really is. This is known as erotomania.” He clicked a button and a new slide with the name appeared on the projection screen. “This is also a subtype of a delusional disorder, wherein a person believes wholeheartedly that they’re in a romantic relationship with someone whom they’ve typically not had very much interaction with.”
He’d planned on going more in-depth on that one in the next class and, though he’d allowed things to deviate, he pointedly returned to the first slide. “More on that later though. For now, we’ll be discussing intimacy seekers.”
Sila nodded and then went back to taking notes, his attention leaving Bay as quickly as he’d given it. But that was because he’d merely been curious about the topic and, now that his questions had been answered, that was that.
Stalking was an interesting and relatable subject, after all. Everyone was obsessed with something.
