Shaking his head at his foolishness, Bay continued to his car, keeping his head tilted down and the cap pulled low just in case. He was so intent on making it there and getting out of here, that he’d already rounded his vehicle and unlocked the doors before he glanced up and saw someone had placed something on his hood.
A single long-stemmed bay rose greeted him, the vibrant blue and reds of the petals standing out against the black paintjob of his hovercar. He hadn’t been named after the flower, but someone had taken to leaving them for him here after his past two races.
The first time he’d been in a panic over it, certain someone had discovered his identity. That may still be the case, but if they had, they weren’t interested in using it against him just yet. Since there was nothing else for him to do but wait it out to see what this person might want, Bay had been forced to go with the flow.
Like he had the other times, Bay took the flower and placed it on the passenger seat when he got into his hovercar.
In a life that already wasn’t all that worth living, he never said no to pretty things.
Chapter 3:
Was he looking at him?
Damn it. Of course he was. He was a student and Bay was his professor. Of course he was—
He wasn’t looking.
Bay glanced away from Sila seated in the middle of the classroom, setting his gaze literally anywhere else. Two weeks into the first semester and he was still nervous every time this particular class was in session. Nervousness was good though. Nervousness meant he was still breathing and he had reason to keep doing so. It meant for one hour and thirty minutes two times a week, he was guaranteed to not feel dead inside.
He’d gotten the shock of his life when the object of his desire had waltzed through the door and lied to his face about why he was late. Sila had probably been worried about being reprimanded, not wanting to admit he’d lost track of time while he’d been talking with his friend. Since Bay hadn’t wanted to embarrass him, he’d played along.
Sila Varun was the epitome of picture perfect through and through. His hair, a sandy color that sparkled like spun gold was always impeccably styled. It was longer at the front and sides, with an undercut. A little edgy, but still clean.
He had heterochromia, one eye a pale pastel blue, the other a seafoam green. Sila was bigger than Bay was, taller and broader, with a torso and legs that seemed to go on for miles. Last year, he’d looked like an angel in the freshman white, but this year as a sophomore he was required to wear light gray. If anything, the color only helped highlight the golden hue of his skin tone.
Bay had seen him smile at a passing student during freshmen orientation and that had been it for him. His heart had kicked into overdrive, a sensation he only experienced anymore when he was straddling his hoverbike. The rush he’d felt from simplylookingat the guy…He’d instantly been obsessed.
With a man five years his junior.
And a student at the university where he taught.
He recognized it for what it truly was. Sila reminded Bay of the person he’d once been. A part of him had seen it instantly in the way he’d caried himself. Before his grandmother’s death, before he’d turned into this undead thing, Bay had gotten on with most people as well. He’d been popular and fun.
People had liked him.
If he could muster up enough feeling to care that they no longer did, he would, but as it were…Besides, he’d heard the whispers about him in the halls. He knew the students found his indifference attractive for one reason or another. They thought he was the quiet brooding type and that added a layer of mystery to him.
Only, there was nothing all that mysterious about him in the end. If anyone ever got close enough to see, they’d be disappointed in what they found.
Bay wasn’t mysterious.
He was broken.
Empty.
Even his friends only stuck around now out of some sense of loyalty to the person he’d once been. He should be grateful since their help is what allowed him to continue racing despite the risks. Instead, he thanked them dispassionately and they pretended not to notice that he didn’t really mean it.
Or, he meant it. He just couldn’t feel the emotion behind what those words stood for.
He didn’t dislike his friends, but he could no longer feel that caring or attachment toward them he knew he once had. He didn’t get excited when they called or miss them when they didn’t. He wasn’t ever lonely or sad or disappointed being on his own. His house was just a place he stayed and the school was just a place he worked and sometimes, when the emptiness became too much, he escaped it by climbing on a hoverbike or sitting on a silicon cock.
Simple as that.
Tedious.
His entire existence was tedious.
Someone like Sila, who was vivacious and bold and had their whole future ahead of them, deserved better than being the object of a person like Bay’s desire. He deserved the attention of someone who could feel with their whole being and who could love and cherish him the way he deserved to be.
