There was something severely wrong with Rin for thinking so, but then, that was old news. He may feel more than his brother, but there were other proclivities they shared. Sila liked doing the manipulation, but Rin? There was something wholly arousing about another person willing to put themselves through mental gymnastics just to obtain him.
His father couldn’t even tell him and his brother apart, so he’d never done anything for either of them specifically. They had different roles to fulfill for the family, sure, but they were still treated the same. It’s not like they’d have preferred if he’d played favorites, but a little attention, personal attention, now and again wouldn’t have killed the old man.
The only time Rin felt unique was when he was with Kelevra, and maybe that made him a bit off and a lot psychotic, but the truth was the truth.
“It means he cares what I think,” he said finally when he realized his friend was still waiting for his response. “That’s…nice.”
“We care what you think.” Brennon scowled.
“Dude.” Calder rolled his eyes.
“Pathetic,” Daylen said under his breath.
“What?” Brennon glared at them. “Can’t I be worried for our friend? A month ago he was single, and now suddenly he’s engaged? Several steps were skipped, and if you ask me—”
“That’s the thing, Brenn,” Calder cut him off. “No one did. Just let the guy be happy, damn.
“He could be forcing Rin into it,” Brennon refused to back down. “Rin is so kind, of course he’d roll over if an Imperial ordered him to. You really think he’d tell us if that’s what was going on? No. He’d grin and bear it because that’s the type of friendly person he is.”
The other two hesitated, finally starting to see where he was coming from.
Which wasn’t good, because Rin couldn’t afford to fight off all of them second-guessing things.
Rin made himself laugh lightly, slapping his hand on the table for good measure. “Guys! Come on, stop it. I told you, our families agreed because it’s a mutually beneficial merger, and since Kel and I already knew one another, we decided why not go for it.”
He was such a liar, and if he really were the kind and caring person Brennon had just painted him out to be, he’d feel at least a little bit bad about that too.
But he didn’t.
If they kept being suspicious about this, they’d try to investigate. They were all cadets at the Academy, after all. And if they did that, they ran the risk of discovering he and his brother sometimes switch places andthatRin could not allow.
When it came to keeping his brother safe, there was nothing Rin wasn’t capable of doing. Be it lie, steal, cheat, maim, kill, or torture. They came first. It was a rule.
“Seriously, I appreciate the concern, but everything is really okay. I’m not being forced to do anything.” That was less of a lie, considering Kelevra was making him come on his own. Which Rin would be doing. Soon, if not tonight. He could feel the last bit of his resolve snapping, those comments from the other patrons hitting too harshly.
With everyone looking their way, it was honestly a wonder no one else had realized they’d switched all week. Go figure. Suddenly, his friends crowded around the table didn’t seem as sweet and endearing as they had a second ago. It wasn’t fair to them, and yet Rin couldn’t help but feel that way. He was a hypocrite on top of everything else it seemed.
Yeah, he really was the worst.
Chapter 23:
He was wasted. He knew that for a fact because he found himself standing outside of the penthouse suit, on the rooftop where it had all started. Rin laughed, the sound tight and a bit manic, and rubbed at his face, trying to get everything to stop spinning around him.
How’d he even get up here?
His brow furrowed as he tried to piece together the night up until this point, only vaguely able to recall walking into the bar where his friends were already waiting and being handed drink after drink. It’d been their poor attempt to cheer him up and get his mind off the whole Kelevra thing, but clearly it hadn’t worked, because here he was, outside the prick’s door.
Focus. He was trying to figure out how he’d gotten here. There’d been the drinking, dancing like idiots to some shitty live rock band, and hands on—
Rin blinked and almost fell over, catching himself on the wall. He was certain someone had touched him, but for the life of him, he couldn’t recall who. He’d swung at them though, he was pretty sure…
“Fuck.” He dropped his forehead against the cool glass of the door. It was the same side entrance that Kelevra had led him up that night of the party, only now it was locked and with the blackout mode activated so he couldn’t see inside. Was there a damn doorbell?
No, wait, that wasn’t important right now. Figuring out who he’d decked was. He inhaled through his nose and held it for a beat, playing back the night like a movie reel. Brennon, Daylen, Calder, and he had been on the dance floor, and…Arlet had come over. Had she—
She’d made out with Calder in the corner. Daylen had noticed first and hollered like some juvenile delinquent urging his buddy on.
Then Calder had gone to get another round and Daylen had gone with to help carry it back and—
