That shouldn’t be enough to assuage his fears, not while also knowing how mercurial Kel could be but…Of the two of them, Rin had come to the realization he was actually the worse in that regard.
Even last night, blindfolded, Rin had been able to sense Kelevra holding back. For him.
He’d turned what could have been a traumatizing experience into something Rin would never forget—in a good way. Hell, if Kel walked in right now and asked if he wanted to go another round with the G-Tester 450, Rin was ninety percent certain he’d agree.
The Imperial Prince had been right. After a week of panicking, worrying, and being pissed off about the whispers and the rumors, having his control completely stripped away like that had been amazing. It didn’t even matter to him that Kelevra was the cause of all of those negative emotions. Honestly, knowing someone like the Imperial Prince, a man who’d never had to plan for anything in his life because it was always handed to him, had taken the time to scheme just for a chance of catching Rin…
He chuckled at himself and hung his head. Oh yeah, he was definitely the worst of them all.
If only Kel had been trying to morph him into something he wasn’t, trying to mold him into another person, like he’d mentioned last night briefly. Then at least Rin would have something to cling to, something definitive he could point at and say “this is why he isn’t good for me”. Kelevra had commented that he would put Rin back together as his Royal Consort.
But he’d asked if Rin was comfortable with bloodletting.
And he’d paused in the middle of sex to check to make sure he was all right.
As often as Kelevra pushed his boundaries and forced him to take things he didn’t want, there was an equal amount of instances where he was considerate. The real kicker was Rin wasn’t entirely certain Kel was even aware of those moments himself.
The Imperial Prince wasn’t turning Rin into a different person, he was helping him flourish as his true self, the self he’d buried deep in order to be able to switch with his brother at the flip of a coin. Part of Rin understood the danger in that, in growing attached when he should still be thinking of ways of escape, but the rest of him…
Rin wanted Kelevra. He wanted to keep him.
Wanted to be keptbyhim.
He was allowed to want one thing for himself, wasn’t he? Hadn’t that been the whole purpose of coming to Vitality in the first place?
Hadn’t that been what his brother had tried to tell him all this time?
He couldn’t make any rash decisions, but the possibility of giving in, really and truly, was there, and Rin allowed it to linger as he washed his face and used the spare toothbrush Kel had set aside for him.
After he used the bathroom and returned, he noticed the set of clothes that had been laid out. The sophomore uniform was new, not the set he’d been wearing when he’d arrived, and he vaguely remembered it’d been pouring when he’d gotten out of the taxi and stumbled into the receiving area of the hotel. He’d been soaked clean through, but the doorman had merely directed him toward the private elevator in the back that brought him up to the penthouse rooftop entrance.
The whole planet really did recognize him as their Imperial Prince’s fiancé.
He took a moment, standing there in the middle of a bedroom large enough to fit his dorm back at the Academy plus two others, and considered his brother’s words more carefully.
If he didn’t see a downside to this, why was Rin struggling so much? It wasn’t the fact he would have to marry someone he didn’t love—he’d never considered marriage or love as possibilities, so it wasn’t like he was missing out on anything by suddenly gaining at least one of those things.
How did he feel about Kelevra Diar?
A couple of weeks ago, he would have stated without a shadow of a doubt that he hated the guy with a burning passion but now…The passion part was still applicable, but hatred…Did he hate him? Kel infuriated him and sometimes he frightened him.
But there was all that other stuff to take into account as well. Like how he could wipe Rin’s mind blank with a few simple touches and dirty phrases. How he pushed him, too far, and yet, never so far Rin felt there was no coming back from it. Even last night, he’d cut him after Rin had explained he wasn’t interested in pain, but logically he understood that’d been because Kelevra had been trying to get him to lose his erection in preparation for the sound.
And the sound.
Rin shivered just thinking about it. He still wasn’t sure if he’d enjoyed the toy, but the feeling had been intense. He’d felt things he’d never felt before, the fullness and the brush of the bumps on the rod sending him reeling. It’d all been too much and not enough all at the same time, and while he still fully believed Kelevra owed him a few fully felt orgasms, he wasn’t against trying it out again sometime. Seeing Kel pull the rod out of his dick at the end there…At the first stirrings of lust, he cut those thoughts short.
He got dressed quickly, stomach grumbling. When was the last time he ate? Honestly, it was a miracle he hadn’t passed out in the middle of their session again, though afterward, in the sauna he’d slipped in and out. The feel of Kelevra’s hands in his hair had been too relaxing to resist, his body spent and overused. It’d been almost sweet between them.
The only one who’d ever taken care of Rin before was his brother, and his idea of being caring was…questionable at best. Not murdering the Imperial Prince for slipping Rin a drug? That was his brother’s idea of kindness.
Using Kelevra for sex was one thing. If he started savoring those softer moments there was a very real chance Rin would become complacent. Could he afford that? Could he risk letting down his guard around someone in as high of a position as the Imperial Prince? Truthfully, even though he’d told himself he’d only been agreeing that night to buy himself time to come up with an escape plan, he’d spent practically no effort on actually trying to think of one.
If he didn’t want out, whatdidhe want?
His brother apparently wanted to stay on planet, despite their agreement to the contrary. He’d made it sound like it was a minor suggestion, but Rin knew him better than that. He wouldn’t have brought it up if he hadn’t already decided, and if he was staying, didn’t that mean Rin had no choice but to as well? They would never separate, and while there were some battles of will he could beat his brother at, it was clear this wasn’t going to be one of them.
So, if he was staying on Vitality anyway, and the two of them still wanted to slip out of their father’s grasp…
