I grab my clothes from last night and shove them into my bag. “Thanks for letting me crash. I didn’t mean for you to bring me here. I could’ve just gone home.” I’m speaking hurriedly, trying my best not to look him in the eye.
He moves further into the bedroom but leaves the door open. An easy escape, for him or for me, I can’t be sure.
“I wanted to take you,” he says quietly, “but you changed your mind.”
I’m confused. “I asked to come here?”
Aidan nods, pressing his lips into a thin line.
Even in my inebriated state, I must have known I wouldn’t want to wake up in an empty house without my mom. But?—
Oh my god, Thumper!
I left her alone all night. She probably thought I was never coming home, and suddenly I feel like I’m going to puke. Every drink I downed last night comes back up my esophagus, burning my throat.
I rush to the bathroom, in too much of a hurry to close the door, and just barely make it to the toilet before spewing my guts out. My nausea makes the room spin, and I press my palms against the side of the cool porcelain toilet to keep myself centered.
Sweat trails town my neck, so I reach around to grab my hair and pull it out of the way, but my hand meets another. Aidan is right behind me, doing the job for me. He grabs my long hair into a ponytail and holds it back as I continue to puke up bile. I dry heave one more time, and finally, I think I’ve surpassed the worst of it.
I lean my head against the sink, keeping my eyes closed until my equilibrium has fully balanced. Aidan sits beside me on the floor and rubs small circles on my back. I hadn’t noticed it at first. His hand on me feels natural, though it’s a gesture I’m not used to. But now, that's all I can think about. His cold fingers have turned to fire, and I yank away. It’s too intimate, too vulnerable.
“Are you alright?” he asks quietly.
I shake my head and slowly get to my feet, using the edge of the sink to pull myself up. Once I’m stable, I go back into the bedroom to grab my stuff.
“I’m fine. I need to get back to my animals.”
“Shit. I forgot about the farm,” he admits. It’s something one could easily forget when it’s not the center of your life. For me, there’s no excuse. “Do you need help?”
He’s making it sound like it’s his fault for forgetting, and it makes my jaw clench. What the fuck does he have to worry about? His babysitting job is done. I’m the shit person who left her dog home alone all night.
“No, it’s fine,” I tell him sharply, desperately trying to find the rideshare app on my phone. “They’re fine. Thumper probably thinks I’m dead or something, but it’s fine.” Now I’m just scolding myself.
Aidan follows me like a shadow as I jog down the stairs and walk briskly to the front door. “Are you sure you’re alright?” he asks again, and it’s this question that sends me over the edge.
I spin on my heel to face him just as I’ve reached the front door. “Aidan, drop it.” He rears back as if I’ve burnt him, and it feels like I have. “I’m fine. I need to get home. I’ll see you later.”
I step outside, finally confirming my car. Silence hangs over us as Aidan hovers in the doorway at the bottom of the steps, no doubt debating whether to respect my wishes, but his conscience must get the better of him.
“Can I at least drive you?”
I hold up my phone. “No need. Got it covered.”
The car pulls up a minute later, and I sigh with relief. I try not to look at Aidan as I get in the back seat, but my eyes betray me. I catch the frown on his face before jerking my head away. Picking up on the mood, the driver doesn’t make small talk as we pull out of the parking lot, and I’ve never been more grateful to have an intimidating resting bitch face.
Thumper greetsme with a whine and double the enthusiasm I normally receive. The minute I walk through the door, I drop to my knees and pull her into my arms, bursting into tears. I feel awful, but she luckily seems to have forgiven me. Watching her devour her food just makes me feel worse, especially as her little tail wags the entire time.
I’m pissed at myself for being so stupid. Ignoring my feelings is one thing but getting so black out drunk that I forget everything, including my own damn dog, is unacceptable.
I change into a set of worn-in overalls and tie my hair back with my favorite red bandana. After shoving a slice of buttered toast in my mouth—hopefully to soak up the rest of my regrets from last night—I head out to check on the rest of the farm. Most of the other animals are grazers, so food is always available when they’re in the field, but I double check just in case. After confirming everyone is okay, I take a moment to breathe. It seems the world kept turning even without me here to push it.
Thumper follows me around for the rest of the day. I know she missed me when I didn’t come home last night. I picture her sitting by the door for hours, and my heart aches. When it’s time for lunch, I sit on the floor with her in the kitchen while she eats, and when she’s done, I spend twenty minutes rubbing her behind the ears and giving her suffocating hugs.
I’m still sitting on the floor with Thumper in my lap when I get a text.
It’s from Aidan.
11:41 A.M. How are you feeling?
