Jamie saunters over to where I’m standing at the edge of the property, but he does not look happy to see me. “What are you doing here?”
We both know my being here means I know things I shouldn’t, but I don’t know how to answer him.
“What made you…” He trails off, and I watch his eyes grow slowly in realization. “You feel it too, don’t you?”
“Jamie,” my voice wavers as I speak his name, “what’s going on?”
He gives in and takes my hand, and I follow him through the camp past many wandering eyes. I think I hear a snarl or two, and Jamie quickens his step, forcing me to keep up at a brisk pace. His back muscles are clenched so tightly I can make out the entire structure of his shoulder blades. My being here is clearly making him upset, but it’s too late for me to turn back now.
As we weave our way through mobile homes and tents, I find myself still trying to rationalize the situation.Maybe he’s friends with the werewolves, like he’s friends with Aidan. Perhaps he comes here often.Kendra mentioned his uncle is a werewolf, so maybe he just likes to visit his family.
Eventually, we reach a large wooden structure shaped like a bell tent at the far end of the camp, the top of which just barely sweeps the lowest branches of the surrounding trees. As we enter, I’m awestruck by the interior. There’s a completely separate sleeping and kitchen area, along with a small table with four chairs.
Jamie gestures for me to take a seat at the table, so I do. He sits across from me, hands laced together on the table’s surface with a pained expression on his face. His gaze falls to my own hands that are clasped in my lap, a little too properly, but I’m not sure what else to do with them. I’ve never once felt awkward around Jamie, but right now I feel as if my bones are trying to crawl out of my skin and run away.
“I think we both know why you’re here,” he starts, eyes still not looking away from my hands.
For some reason, his desire to jump right to the nitty gritty rubs me the wrong way. “You sound like you’re about to give me detention.”
I watch him fight the smallest smirk, but it’s not enough to crack his serious expression.
Yes, I’ve most likely figured out why he’s been keeping things from me and acting strangely all week long, but I don’t want to skip over the fact that he did those things in the first place. He nearly ran out on me this morning, just after asking me to move in with him the day before. He might be ready to confess, but I’m not ready to gloss over the way he’s made me feel.
“Why did you leave so quickly this morning?”
His eyes dart sideways, avoiding mine. “You know why,” he states plainly.
I buckle down. “No I don’t.”
“You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.” With every word he says, his shoulders draw further and further in, like he's preparing for me to explode.
Maybe it’s just because of spite, but I do just that. “Just say it, Jamie!”
My voice nears a shout, but I reel it back. I can feel myself slipping into an accusatory state, but I don’t want Jamie to think I’m mad. I’m not mad. Maybe a little wounded that he didn’t trust me, but not mad. I just want him to explain it to me. In his own words, not the ones I’ve come up with in my head.
“Please,” I add quietly. My eyes linger on his bare chest again, and a need to touch him signals like a lighthouse in my mind. Not in a sexual way. I just want him to hold me. I need the reassurance of his warmth, of his strength.
He looks more pained now than when he first sat down. I can tell he doesn’t like that he’s made me upset. I watch as hishunched shoulders straighten, and his chest moves out and then slowly in as he takes a calming breath.
“You’re right,” he says quietly, finally meeting my eyes. “I’m sorry. I was hoping since you figured it out, we could skip this part.” He smiles tentatively, turning into a wince. He closes his eyes. “But you deserve an explanation.”
I force my gaze away from his chest and speak truthfully. “This has been one of the hardest, most confusing weeks of my life. I just need to know why.”
He rubs his temples nervously. “I don’t know why.”
I frown and repeat his statement, trying hard to keep the bite out of my words. “You don’t know.”
“I mean, it’s just...” He fumbles on his words. “I don’t know why I hid it for so long. You’ve had a hard and confusing week because of me. I know that. But I can’t give you a true reason behind it.” His mouth twists into a sour expression. “I think there’s always been a part of me that wishes I could hide from what I am. Not just from others, but from myself.”
He uncrosses his arms from where they’ve been resting on the table and his hands lock into fists. I pull back slightly, but then he tucks them away beneath the table. Even when he’s angry at himself, I know Jamie would never put me in harm's way.
“When we first met,” I start, but then he answers by finishing my sentence for me.
“I didn’t tell you because you seemed so against paranormals. The way you talked about your family—” I flinch, but he scoots his chair closer. “I’m not blaming you. I’m saying I took what you said as an excuse to continue to hide. I was still in denial at the time. We’d just moved to Shadow Hills. My entire life had been uprooted, and all because of something I couldn’t control. So I didn’t talk about it. I kept my wolf a secret, thinkingthat the more I pushed him down, eventually he’d just…go away. But he didn’t.”
“Your wolf.” Saying it out loud feels almost freeing. Not quite there, but a positive step toward it.
He must see my need for confirmation in my face, because he nods carefully, then says, “Yes, Raegan. I’m a werewolf.”
