I clear my throat and take some deep breaths. I can do this.
I’m perched on the sofa when my brother appears in the doorway.
“Hi.” His body language is that of someone approaching a tiger that’s got loose from its cage. He sits on the sofa opposite me, giving me a wider than natural berth, and his mouth twists as he chooses his next words. “I suppose we should talk.”
“I suppose we should,” I agree, giving him a hard stare.
There’s a beat of silence where we both wait the other out, an angry stalemate.
I blow out a breath and begin.
“I’m sorry that you saw what you saw at Salt. I can’t imagine how much of a shock that must have been for you.” I throw outthe first olive branch because it’s the only one he’s going to get from me.
“It was,” he agrees, meeting my eyes. “I had no idea that you even knew Salt existed.”
“I only found out a few months ago – completely by accident, might I add.”
“I see.”
“That is where my apology begins and ends, Nick. I am so angry with you that I don’t even know where to begin. The things you said to Luke wereappalling. I know you were in shock but he’s your best friend. You owe him an apology.”
“Some friend!” he spits, leaping to his feet. “He’s been using you?—”
“Sit down,” I cut in, sharply enough that he actually does. His knee bounces, fists clenching. “You’re jumping to conclusions that aren’t true. I don’t owe you our backstory because my sex life is none of your business. But given you’re so quick to think the absolute worst of your best friend and your sister, I’ll explain.”
He shifts on the sofa, rubbing his neck in a show of agitation, but he lets me speak.
“You know Colin and I got married way too young,” I start.
“I know, and I should have fucking stopped you then too,” he interrupts as I roll my eyes.
“Please, Nick, let me finish. We got married too young and over the last few years our relationship withered. Once we split, I wanted toexplorein all the ways I didn’t get to during my 20s. I don’t need to spell out what I mean.”
“No, you don’t. I got a pretty good fucking visual, thanks.”
“Nick.” I look at him. “I need you to listen to me instead of spitting back retorts every 10 seconds.”
He grits his teeth but nods and I carry on.
“Sloane had the idea of me finding someone at a club she’s part of, and it turned out to be Salt.”
Nick’s eyebrows shoot up. “Jesus Christ.”
“It was a shock to find Luke there. But I thought, here’s a man I trust, who knows what he’s doing. Why not?”
“And he went for it?”
“No. He said no. But a week later he pulled me out of a bad situation and… it started from there.”
I bite my cheek as the urge to cry returns and I feel the shine in my eyes betray me. Nick’s studying my face, his own expression a mix of hostility and frustration.
“We haven’t had the chance to talk about it yet because you came to Salt and things blew up. But I know how I feel about him and I’m not going to apologise to you for that. This thing between us is not just physical. He makes me really happy.”
Nick blinks and I see his jaw tick.
“I know you’re angry at both of us,” I continue. “But I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m not your responsibility. And you’ve treated me like a kid for too long. I’m an adult woman who is finally standing on her own two feet and I deserve to have your support, not your disappointment. I need my big brother to cheerlead me, not chastise me. And I need you to respect that my sex life and who I choose to date is none of your business.”
I fix him with a look that I hope is firm but filled with love. If I’m not getting through to him today then I’ll have to try again in a couple of weeks when he’s cooled off. Nick’s always been a tad volatile.
