I clear my throat and they both look up at me, startled.
“When you two are finished making decisions for me, do let me know won’t you?” I spit out, voice rising with my anger.
“Come on Emmy, I’m taking you home.” Nick goes to tug on my arm but I stand firm.
“Absolutely fucking not. This is none of your business and you don’t get to decide who I date. I’m a grown woman. I’m sorry we lied to you but this is between me and Luke. Go home. I’ll call you tomorrow when you’ve calmed down.”
Nick looks between Luke and me, furious, and then blows out a breath and storms off.
“Hey,” I say, stepping into Luke’s space. “You ok?”
“I should be asking you that,” he mutters. The light in his eyes has gone out and he looks utterly broken.
“I’m ok,” I reply, lifting my fingertips to his cheek. He pulls away and it feels like a knife to the gut.
“Nick’s right. We shouldn’t be doing this anymore. We’ve pretty much completed the list. We can go back to being friends.” He gives me a weak smile but there are tears in his eyes.
“What are you talking about? We’re never going to be just friends. What we have?—”
He cuts me off. “What we have is a mistake.” I swear I feel my heart tear in two. “I’m not good enough for you. You should be with someone who’s worthy of you. I’ve been a selfish bastard wanting to keep you when it was never going to work. And I cannot be the reason you and Nick fall out. You’re both too important to me.”
I stare at him, open mouthed, but he avoids eye contact. His fists are opening and closing at his sides and his breathing is ragged. I know this is hurting him. He doesn’t want this.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” I whisper, shaking my head as a pounding pain takes up residence in my chest.
“I’m sorry Emmy. I’ll call you soon, ok?”
He leans in, presses a kiss to my forehead, and turns on his heel. I watch him disappear down the street.
I want to scream. I want to chase him and slap him and beg him to take it all back. But all I can do is stand in stunned silence, breathing hard while I try to keep myself from collapsing onto the ground.
Two hours ago, he promised to keep me safe. Now he’s torn out my heart and left it bleeding on the pavement.
CHAPTER 41
Emmy
I’ve been saton the ground in my borrowed dress for 30 minutes by the time a black cab pulls up next to me and Sloane jumps out. I feel catatonic as she bends down and scoops me up with alarming strength. Thank goodness for Pilates. She places me gently in the cab and I lean my head on her thigh as the cab pulls away in the direction of home.
“He left me,” I whisper.
“I know. Jessie called me,” Sloane murmurs, rubbing large circles on my back. She doesn’t stop, even as I quietly go to pieces in her lap.
When we arrive back at the flat, I collapse on the sofa. The combination of adrenaline from the performance followed by the immediate emotional sledgehammer of Luke walking away from me has maxed out all my energy. I feel boneless and not in a good way. I’ve barely managed to get my shoes off before Sloane thrusts a drink into my hand.
“It’s mostly gin,” she warns, as I take a big sip and hack out a cough and grimace. “Right, let’s work out what you need tonight and what you need for the rest of the weekend. If you want to start cussing him out and raging, I’m down for that. If you wantto weep into the cushions, I’ll get the tissues. Or if you just want to go to sleep, I’ll gladly tuck you in myself.”
I manage a small smile at my lovely, brilliant friend.
“Oh, I’ve already texted Chloe. She’ll be here in the morning. We’ve both cleared the deck so we can be here for you over the next few days,” she adds.
“You’re the best,” I reply, tears threatening to erupt all over again. “I think right now I should probably go to bed. But I really appreciate you both, especially as you only scraped me off the floor a few months ago too.”
“You got it, girl.”
I shuffle to my bedroom, the epitome of pathetic. I shut the door behind me and lean against it, my whole body vibrating like I’ve just been struck by lightning. My cheeks are still wet and my chest hurts so badly I press a palm flat against it, as if I can hold the crack closed.
Luke’s words replay in my head in an endless loop:What we have is a mistake. You deserve better. I can’t be the reason you and Nick fall out.
