She blinks at me and nods.
“Is it painful, being all tied up in different positions?”
“It totally depends on what you’re seeking,” I reply, carefully. I don’t want to frighten her but I also want to be totally honest. “For some people, they want the pain or discomfort of being held in a certain position as it can heighten the pleasure, especially as they are essentially submitting to the person holding the rope. But for many people, it’s about simply heightening sensation.”
I pause to check she’s ok but she’s nodding thoughtfully. I’ve not scared her off yet.
“Learning how to do Shibari safely can take a lot of time and practice. But a skilled artist can position the knots and ropes to give maximum pleasure. Your true experts can suspend their partners from the ceiling in a way that’s totally safe and extremely erotic. But it can also be used outside of sexual scenarios. I’ve heard some people liken it to mindfulness activities.”
“Ah the crochet of the kink world. Good to know,” she quips and I laugh.
I take her through some of the knots and loops that we’ll do on stage and she follows my every command beautifully. I can hardly believe we’re about to do this – it’s bigger than any other item on her Fuckit List – but here we go.
CHAPTER 40
Emmy
The stage isdark as we stand behind the velvet curtain. Luke’s wearing a suit and I’m just wearing my dress, bra already removed for ease. The plan is for me to strip and sit on one of the bar stools while Luke demonstrates some simple ties.
Luke’s phone’s been vibrating on and off for half an hour but he’s been too nervous to even look at it, repeatedly running the ropes through his fingers and closing his eyes as if he’s mentally tracing each knot and tie. I’ve never seen him so on edge and for a moment, I’m absolutely charmed as I watch this man who I’ve come to know so well fray at the edges.
Luke’s kept himself walled off emotionally for so long that I assumed he didn’t really feel much. But now I suspect he feels everything deeply and irrevocably, and that his breakup with Lucy has left scars that even Nick may not fully comprehend.
He’s emphasised four or five times that I can tap out at any moment and that he’ll keep things basic and comfortable. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly nervous. If you’d told me that six months ago, I’d be demonstrating bondage live on stage at a sex club, I’d have wet myself laughing. If you’d told me it would be with Luke at his club – well I’d probably have had an aneurysm.But as I stand there, waiting for Jessie to announce us onto the stage, I think about just how far I’ve come.
For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m owning my own narrative. I’m meeting new people; I’m trying new things. I’m braver than I’ve ever been and it feelswonderful.
For the first time ever, I’mchoosingthings. I’m steering my own life, not just being carried along, and Luke’s been the catalyst. With him, I’ve discovered parts of myself I buried for years.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” comes Jessie’s voice through the AV system.
The room hushes and Luke and I glance at each other. He raises his hand to my cheek, stroking his thumb down in an exact repeat of the first time he kissed me just 20 feet away. He leans in to kiss me lightly before straightening up as Jessie begins to announce us.
“We have an incredibly special treat for you tonight. It’s something many of you have been asking about for a long time and we’ve been edging you for months, but I’m thrilled to welcome back Salt’s owner, Luke, to the stage with his beautiful partner Emmy!”
The crowd erupts into cheers – Luke is clearly well-loved – and the curtains pull back to reveal us standing, hand in hand. I give a little wave and several people whoop back. I can see the eyes of the women in the front row and they’re all hungrily trained on Luke.
“As some of you know, Luke is a master in the art of Shibari. And tonight, he’s planning to demonstrate a few simple ties to whet your appetites. Please do not try these at home without some proper instruction. And if you’re interested in learning more, we’re hosting a brand-new course later in the summer during which you can learn these ties and more. Without further ado, please give a round of applause for Luke and Emmy!”
The crowd cheers again as the lights dim and the music starts. Luke’s chosen to begin withMount Everestby Labrinth and the crowd goes silent as he points to the bar stool in the centre of the stage. It’s a clear instruction and the look in his eyes is steely: he’s in full dom mode now and I shiver in anticipation.
Just before I sit down, he shakes his head slowly at me and twirls his finger in a circle. At his command, I slip my dress off over my head and stand in my lacy pants and patent black heels. My obedience earns me a smile and I can practically see the women in front of me leaning forward as he begins to roll his sleeves up over his beautiful forearms. God, those forearms.
I perch on the chair and Luke approaches me, a long coil of black rope in his hands. He begins the first tie – a basic harness, he told me – with deft motions.
Before long, I’ve got loops of rope criss-crossing my torso, contrasting starkly with my pale skin. I relax into it as Luke’s practised fingers whisper across my breasts. He crosses the loop that goes across my chest with a band just above my nipples and I gasp at the sensation as he essentially makes a cupless bra out of the rope.
My mind wanders back to what he said in his office as we were planning the performance:
“Bondage of any sort is the ultimate act of trust, and to place yourself in that position of vulnerability is a gift that no one should ever underestimate. If you doubt me for even a second then we shouldn’t do this. But I promise you this: I will keep you safe.”
The rope is soft against my skin but as he ties, he pulls gently to create tension and I can feel my pulse rising with each flourish. He finishes a series of knots across my stomach and then indicates for me to stand. He begins to loop and tie down my thighs, glancing up at me periodically to check I’m ok. I keepsmiling at him, reassuring him with every look, and I finally feel him start to relax just as his hand brushes my core.
I don’t think he did it intentionally but he doesn’t miss the way my breath hitches, eyes flying up to mine to check on me again. I bite my lip to try and communicate that I’m fine and he gives me a small salacious smile that the crowd can’t see.
He leans around under the guise of tying a knot and whispers in my ear, “Do you enjoy seeing me on my knees for you, sweetheart?”
I whimper as he gives me a small grin.
