This was where I was supposed to be.
Chapter 3
Sephtis
When I opened my eyes,the flowers had changed. The color was softer now, the vibrance fading and the wind catching the petals and sending them into the air as I approached the figure sitting in the middle of the field.
Caiden looked up at me with a smile, his eyes soft, his expression sweet.
“You’re different.”
When I sat beside him this time and took his hand, I could feel the heat of him penetrating my skin, dipping somewhere deep into the center of my chest and making it seem like I was taking a breath for the very first time.
“You deserved different.”
He deserved more—more than this field and a creature of death broken open and unsure what to do with it all.
But this was what I could give him… so it had to be enough.
His fingers in mine squeezed, and something in my body settled. This was good. This felt right… I was supposed to be here in this field of flowers, waiting with Caiden.
“Areyou supposed to be here?” he asked like he’d heard my thoughts, his head tilting as he looked me over. “Like this?”
Like this. Could he see the change in me? I wasn’t sure I even understood it myself, but he was staring at the center of my chest like he could see straight through me.
As if he could see that light I’d taken in.
“It’s fine for now.”
Caiden lifted his hand and ran his fingers to the place the arrow had penetrated. “I don’t think this is going to go away when I do, Sephtis.” The sound of my name coming so gently from his tongue made me shiver. I leaned closer to him, pressing my hand over his.
“It’s okay.” And then, like I couldn’t stop the confession from spilling out with him so close, I sighed out the rest. “I did it for you.”
“Did you?” His expression was full of so much warmth, the sun that I could actually feel on my skin now. It was a heat that made the pain I’d experienced earlier slowly dissolve. “I guess it is for me, in a way.” His fingers clenched on my shirt and he let out a soft sound.
A sigh.
The breath leaving him in a slow exhalation that seemed almost too difficult to draw in again.
More time.
He’d wanted more time, and I’d wasted so much of it finding Wren. It had taken so long to make sure that when I came back I could actually feel him. That he could feel me. I didn’t know how else to make sure he knew he wasn’t alone.
“I’m sorry I didn’t know about you sooner.” The apology spilled from my tongue in staccato bursts of agony—I couldn’t quite stop myself now that I was here. When I lifted my hand and brushed my fingers through his hair, his entire body relaxed beside me… like he’d been waiting for that simple touch.
That simple gesture.
“You’re right where you’re supposed to be.” He let his eyes drift shut. “I think this is exactly where we’re both supposed to be. I knew I was holding on for a reason. I just didn’t realize it was you.”
“Listen…”
“No, Sephtis. It’s okay. It’s going to be hard… after…” He paused on the word, like saying that he was dying was too much for him even now. “But you’re here. So… maybe it won’t be so bad. Maybe everything doesn’t have to fall apart…” He shivered when I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his forehead. It was the softest brush of my mouth against his skin, and the feel of his arms sliding around me told me it was welcome.
“You don’t have to go yet.” I breathed the selfish plea, but I knew it was a lie.
Caiden looked up at me with a melancholy smile. “I’m just so tired, Sephtis. I’ve been tired for so long,fightingthis for so long because I was afraid of what I had to leave behind.” He turned, dropping his head to my shoulder and letting his lips rest against my neck. They brushed the place where the Ardor raced through my veins like blood, like life I should never have been able to touch. “But I feel like I can rest now… I’m not afraid. Whatever you did before you came back, I can tell this is why we met now… like this. It was the only way.” Caiden’s fingers lifted, slipping to the center of my chest. “I’m not alone. And you’ll be here when I’m gone to pick up the pieces, right?”
“Caiden…” Saying his name was strange… because I could still feel it—the difference in this to every other time I’d taken a soul. I could feel his life hovering all around me. The love he had for his family, the fear of leaving them behind… the terror he’d kept so quietly to himself that he thought he’d have to go alone. That after he was gone, his world would fall apart, and he wouldn’t be here… butIwould.
