Away. She had to get away from the fire, from the trenches, from thedeath…
‘Aya.’ There were hands grasping her arms, and she yanked back, her breath coming in uneven bursts. She whipped her gaze to her assailant, her heart stuttering as she registered Will on his knees before her.
No. Not again.
She had watched him die. She had held him as he bled out, had watched the life leave his eyes, and even though she’d pleaded to the gods when she’d woken in the desert that it wasn’t true, she was back in the same nightmare.
Aya wrestled against whatever was pinning her to the ground, trying to free herself from the restraint of it, from these never-ending hells. She couldn’t escape, couldn’t escape, couldn’t escape—
‘Aya.’ Her name was a broken rasp as Will’s hand found her face, his gray eyes filled with concern. He tugged on her bindings, freeing her legs. But the warm hand on her cheek had her pausing long enough to take in her surroundings again.
A cave. She was in a cave – not the desert. She glanced down.
Not bindings … a bedroll.
‘You’re safe,’ Will panted, his thumb skimming across her cheek. ‘You’re safe.’
Aya sucked in air, her chest heaving with panicked breaths. Her fingers slowly loosened from where they’d fisted in the bedroll as she looked Will over. His hair was disheveled, his eyes rimmed with red. She dragged her gaze down his chest, searching for evidence of a wound. There was nothing. His black shirt was wrinkled but otherwise unmarked.
‘Is this real?’ Her throat felt like sandpaper, the words rough and raw.
Will frowned, something like pain flashing across his face as he stroked her cheek again. ‘Of course this is real.’
She wanted to believe him. Especially as he whispered her name as if he could reach into whatever terror still held her and guide her out. Aya’s fingers trembled as she traced the strong line of his jaw.
No wound. No blood.
She had watched him die, and the pain of it had made her want to curl up on the ground with him and never get up again. The only thing that had made her drag herself through the godsforsaken desert was the hope that she’d find him still breathing. And here he was: skin warm, body whole.
Alive.
A small, broken sound escaped her, and she threw her arms around his neck. Will rocked back with the impact, but his arms grabbed her to him, banding like steel around her waist. If he was confused, he didn’t let on. He simply held her as tightly as she clung to him, his hand tracing soothing lines up and down her back.
Will leaned back, just far enough to scan her face. His eyesdarkened at whatever he found there, his voice dropping low. ‘What happened?’
Aya pressed her lips together. She didn’t know where to begin – which truth to share first. But Will brought a hand back to her face, his callouses scraping lightly against her cheek. The gentleness in the touch had her choking back another sob.
‘What happened?’ he repeated.
Tears welled in her eyes as she met his stare.
‘I killed her.’
There it was. The truth, finally laid bare.
Will blinked, his thumb stilling on her cheek as Aya’s lips trembled. ‘I killed her.’ The confession continued to tumble from her like an avalanche, her whole body shaking. ‘I killed her. I killed her. I killed her.’
And then she was sobbing, her head pressing against his chest as she spoke the words she’d never dared admit. ‘She left because I made her,’ Aya gasped, her hands fisting in Will’s shirt. She couldn’t bear to look at him. ‘I felt my affinity and I – I made her go. I persuaded her to get on that ship.’
She had seen the truth in whatever apparition the relic had brought forward; had seen the moment that twisted her essence into something dark.
‘My mother is dead because of me,’ she whispered.
‘She is not dead because of you,’ he responded fiercely, tilting her head back as he forced her to meet his gaze.
‘I saw it,’ she rasped. ‘I went to the Vaguer to learn how to survive the Decachiré. I thought that, because my power reacts the same … they could help. But the practitioners survived by relinquishing their souls completely to their darkness; by letting their evil natures rule them entirely. The Vaguer have a relic of Evie’s that brings forth your truenature. They urged me to meet mine to see what fuels my power and … it is dark, Will. It’s so dark.’
Will shook his head. ‘Aya, your mother was a full-grown Visya who could easily shield against your persuasion.’
