It should worry me, being pulled aside like this. But there's something about Alexandra that puts me at ease. She radiates this peaceful energy that makes it impossible to feel threatened around her.
"You know," she says softly as we work together to clean the kitchen "you remind me a bit of Jamie when he was younger. So careful about doing everything perfectly."
"Jamie? But he's so..."
"Relaxed now?" She smiles. "That took time. And people who helped him realize he didn't have to be perfect to be loved."
I nearly drop the plate I'm holding. Something about her tone reminds me so much of my own mom that my eyes fill with tears.
"My mom..." I have to clear my throat, blinking the tears back while hoping she didn't notice. "She used to say something similar. About not having to earn love."
Alexandra's hand lands softly on my arm. "She sounds very wise." Her touch is so kind, so maternal, that for a moment I almost smell the perfume my mom used to wear. The unexpected wave of grief nearly drowns me. But Alexandra's eyes are kind, and somehow I keep breathing.
"She was." The words come out rough.
"She always said hockey wasn't just about the game. It was about finding your people."
"Smart woman." Alexandra's voice is soft but her eyes are suspiciously bright. "You know, Jamie's been different lately. Happier. More himself." She squeezes my arm gently. "I think maybe he's found his people too."
I nearly drop the dish I'm holding. "Mrs. Pirelli—"
"Alexandra," she corrects automatically. Then, even more softly, "And Rylan? Whatever makes my son smile like that?" She pauses. "All any mother wants is for her children to be happy. To be loved and accepted for exactly who they are."
She smiles and hands me a dish towel before turning to grab the coffee mugs, giving me a moment to compose myself. In the living room, Jamie laughs at some joke Adam just made. His dad's professor-ish voice mixes with laughter and it somehow feels like home.
"You're always welcome with us," Alexandra says quietly as she starts pouring the coffee. "Not just holidays. Anytime you need... Anytime."
"Thank you," I whisper.
Her smile is soft and understanding. "That's what family's for, dear."
As everyone gets ready to leave, Alexandra pulls me into a hug. "Thank you for sharing the holiday with us," she murmurs.
"Thank you for having me," I manage, my voice rough.
She squeezes my arm one more time, her eyes knowing. "Take care of each other," she says, glancing between Jamie and me. Then, louder, "Joseph! Come on, darling."
They all say goodbye like this is normal. Like I belong here.
Eventually, the door closes behind them. The sudden silence is heavy with all the things I'm tryingnotto feel.
"Hey." Jamie's voice is soft as he moves closer. "You okay?"
I nod, not trusting my voice. He reaches for me slowly, like he's afraid I might bolt. When I don't pull away, he wraps his arms around me from behind, pressing his face into my neck.
"Thank you," he murmurs. "For being here. For letting them take care of you."
"Jamie..." My voice breaks.
"I know." His arms tighten slightly. "I know it's a lot. But they mean it, you know. About you being welcome. About wanting you here."
I lean back into him, just for a moment, letting myself have this. Letting myself want it.
"Stay?" Jamie asks softly. "Just... stay tonight? I just... I don't want to let you go yet."
I should say no. It's too risky, what if someone saw me leaving in the morning? Several guys from the team live right around here. I should...
"Okay," I whisper, turning in his arms. "Okay."
