"Rylan..."My heart is pounding so hard I can barely think."Why didn't you tell me? I would have—"
"Would have what? Treated me differently? Like I was fragile? Like youfeltsorry for me?"
There's a defensive edge to his words. Shit, he's starting to retreat.
"No! Not--of course not. I just... I would have made sureit wasspecial. Would have taken more time to..."
I trail off, remembering how desperate we were, how we crashed into each other. If I'dknownit washis first time...
"It was special," his voice is more gentle. "It was amazing, Jamie. Because it was real. Because you saw what I needed. You saw me."
My throat closes up.
"Still," I whisper. "I wish you'd felt safe enough to tell me."
"I couldn't tell you then."He shakes his head."Shit, I almost couldn't admit it to myself. But today, talking to my dad... Something clicked, I think. I wanted you toknow."
His raw honesty makes my chest ache. I want to tell him how much it means that he trusted me, but I'm terrified of pushing too hard.
He swallows hard."I... I'm not good at this,"he manages.
"Not good at what?"
"At letting peoplegetclose to me. At being vulnerable."His eyes meet mine through the screen, dark with something that makes heat pool in my gut."At wanting things."
"What do you want, Rylan?"My voice is gravelly.
The silence stretches so longthat I worryI went too far.
"You."It's a broken-sounding whisper."I keep trying to stop, but... fuck, Jamie. I can't—I can't stop thinking about that night."
My mouth is suddenly as dry as the desert. The phone camera catches just enough light to show his chest rising and falling with quick breaths.
"Yeah?"I lick my lips."What do you think about?"
His eyes dart away, then back to mine.
"Your hands,"he whispers finally."The way you touched me. How you somehow..knewwhat I wanted."
"Fuck, Rylan."I have to adjust myself, and his eyes track the movement."If I'dknownit wasyour first time..."
"What would you have done differently?"His voice carries an edge of challenge again, but his expression is vulnerable.
"I would have taken more time."I lean closer to the screen, dropping my voice."I would have explored every inch of you. I would have found every single place on your body that makes you gasp."
His sharp inhale sends a jolt of electricity down my spine.
"Tell me what you're thinking about,"I say my voice gentle."I want tohearyou say it."
"The way your chestfeltpressed against mine. The way we… rubbed together."His voice is breathless, his pupils blown out wide.
"God, Ry."I slide my hand into my pants and let out a groan of relief when I wrap my hand around my cock."I'd wanted to touch you like that since the first time we met."
His breath hitches. "Yeah?"
"Oh, fuck yes. But that night... God, the way you responded to me was…"
"I never... I never knew it could feel like that."
