“Oh, no, we’re not together,” I say, laughing. “Just friends.” I smile at Hunter, who’s gone strangely stiff beside me. “In fact, I practically had to beg this guy to come on this trip with me.”
Jesse widens his eyes at us. “Wow, really, Hunter? Gosh, I don’t think it would have taken too much to convince me to tag along on a lovely trip like this.”
I chuckle. “Hunter doesn’t know that I know this, but it took some convincing from a mutual friend of ours to convince him to join me.”
Hunter gives me a confused look. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, Serah just mentioned to me that you might have had a few second thoughts,” I say, smiling to show it’s really no big deal. “I completely understand. We’ve had the same group of friends for years,” I explain to Jesse, “but we’ve recently discovered that we don’t actually know each other all that well.” I reach out and squeeze Hunter’s arm. “I don’t know about him, but I’m hoping spending this week together will change that.”
Jesse flashes a sad-looking smile. “Traveling together is a great way to get to know each other,” he says. “My husband—um, ex-husband—and I met while we were backpacking through Europe, a long time ago.” His eyes go glassy as he tosses back the remainder of the champagne in his glass. Poor guy.
We chat for a couple more minutes, and Hunter drifts away over to the railing. Man, he really wasn’t kidding when he said he’s not great with new people.Definitely an introvert, that one.
“Anyway, looks like we're about to set sail. I should go find my brother and sister-in-law,” Jesse says, flashing that sad smileagain. “Nice chatting with you. I’m sure we’ll bump into each other again this week.”
“Definitely,” I say with a smile. “Have a great night, Jesse.”
Chapter twelve
Hunter
Listening to Penn talk to that Jesse guy makes me itchy all over, which is completely insane. Penn is just being himself; he’s always that friendly. The guy connects with everyone. Shit, that’s partly why everyone loves him. The fact that he’s become insta-BFFs with some dude we just met in the elevator has nothing to do with me, and I shouldn’t care about it one way or another. So why is it annoying me so much? I feel like I’m walking around with a pebble in my shoe, except that the pebble is in my brain.
I watch as Penn’s natural charm pulls Jesse into an easy conversation about past vacations to the Caribbean and their favorite beaches on various islands.
“I think it’s good that your sister-in-law forced you to come on this trip,” Penn says, his eyes kind as he gives Jesse an encouraging smile. “I bet the change of pace will be helpful.”
“Hope you’re right about that,” Jesse responds, his eyes sad. It’s clear that, despite his heartbreak, Jesse is someone Penn could get along with. Even though Jesse is clearly grieving, they seem to share a similar sense of optimism. They both seem tolook at the world as if it’s filled with possibilities just waiting to be discovered. Penn keeps asking questions, drawing the sad man out of his shell. He’s good at that—making people feel seen, heard. And as the party buzzes around us, I can’t help but think that sometimes, yeah, you really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. I guess Serah was right. There’s a lot more to Penn than meets the eye.
Wandering over to the railing, I force myself to focus on the warm Florida sunshine and the soft ocean breeze against my skin as Penn and Jesse continue chatting. They laugh over some shared joke about the buffet menu, their heads tilting together like they’ve known each other for years. I should be mingling, joining in, but instead, I drift toward the railing of the ship and sip my champagne, alone. Looking in from the outside, as usual.
Gripping the cool metal of the railing, I take in the busy docks down below us. Workers scurry like ants, securing ropes and loading supplies as we get ready to leave. A twist of something unpleasant coils in my gut. Jealousy, clear and sharp as a knife. Penn’s not mine; why should I care if he chats up some guy who probably has abs you could do your laundry on?
I blow out a long breath. Penn deserves to have fun, to talk to whoever catches his eye. It’s his vacation, after all. I know he said he doesn’t have plans to hook up with anyone on this trip, but hey, Jesse could be George Clooney’s twin brother. You’d have to be crazy to turn that guy down.
“Hey, you okay?” Penn appears at my side.
“Oh, yeah, I’m good. Just taking it all in.” I paste on a smile. Serah would tell me I need to pull my head out of my ass and stop trying to sabotage my own good time by overthinking everything. And she’d probably be right.
“Attention, passengers,” the PA system blares, causing both of us to start. The voice continues. “Please be advised the ship’s horn will sound shortly.”
I brace myself, but even with the warning, the horn blast is so loud it feels like it vibrates my brain. I jump, and a cascade of champagne sloshes over the rim of my glass, dousing my hand and the front of my shirt and shorts. “Holy shit!”
Penn bursts into laughter, and I can’t help but join in, even though I feel like an idiot, embarrassment heating my cheeks.
“Fine, fine, laugh at the guy on his first cruise,” I grumble, but I’m chuckling as I try to mop up the champagne from my shirt with my cocktail napkin. My mini quiche went flying when I startled, but I’m still clutching the little blue napkin.
“Well, welcome aboard,” Penn jokes, patting me on the back. “You’ll get used to it.”
A few minutes later, the space between the side of the ship and the dock gradually widens as the giant engines propel the massive ship sideways. Everyone comes to the railing to laugh and wave at the people onshore, and within a few minutes, we’re cruising down the waterway, past extravagant mansions backing directly onto the water.
Once we’re far enough out to sea that we can’t see people waving anymore, Penn turns to me, holding his blond hair back off his face from the stiff breeze. I’m not proud of it, but having his focus back on me soothes the sharp, unpleasant stab of jealousy from a few minutes earlier. As he downs the last of his champagne, the late-afternoon sun hits him just right, and a weird, possessive feeling hits me low down, replacing the jealousy. Penn is an objectively beautiful person. I’ve prevented myself from really looking at him in the last few years, knowing it would just make me sad that we're so different. And that he’s so far out of my league. But right now, it’s impossible to deny how strongly he affects me.
“Hungry yet?” he asks. “We can swing by the cabin so you can grab a clean shirt.” He flashes a teasing grin. “Then we can head to the dining room.”
“Sure,” I say affably, stuffing down my feelings as usual. I need to try to remember the unattractive things about him. Like how cavalier he is about money and how he just doesn’t ever take anything seriously.
Even though our conversation last night helped me see that Penn’s obviously not as shallow as I’ve told myself all these years, he’s still not someone I could be with. We’re just way too different. I keep reminding myself of this, even though my stomach does a weird little swoop as he links his arm through mine before steering us toward the helipad’s exit.
