“I am sure you can,” Qian said. “I look forward to our talks later.”
My stomach clenched. It was already so late. “Tomorrow, after you’ve had your fun.”
Qian smiled at me, but Lucas’s eyes remained on the ground, even when I walked past him to rejoin Nix and head back to the great house.
I didn’t want to think about the idea that if Qian or any of the others knew that I was the monster, they wouldn’t hesitate to shoot.
12
Before sunset,Nixhad finished the potion. By the time she gave it to me, I had already locked the manacles into place, securing myself to the tree trunk in the middle of my room. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake this time. In case the sleeping potion didn’t work, I didn’t want to risk hurting Nix.
I’d moved the bed closer so I would be able to lie down while still chained properly to the tree trunk. It was messy, but it would have to do. I tugged on the manacles again and again, double-checking that I was secure, but the only way to know if it worked would be to find out tomorrow. My nerves were a jumbled mess in my stomach, like I’d eaten a colony of ants, a combination of anticipation for what was going to come and the uncertainty of Nix’s sleeping potion.
“Are you ready?” Nix asked, handing the glass to me. The liquid inside was a murky brown, looking and smelling like swamp water, but I couldn’t be squeamish. I needed to do this.
The last thing I remembered was putting the potion to my lips.
My dreams thatnight were nothing but a world full of red: bloody claws, a river of entrails, and burning hunger. Ravenous, desperate, pleading. It was all emotion, flashing like a shutter on a camera, broken by my own vicious need to be free.
When I woke up, I saw red. But it was only the morning light. It washed over me, dragging me from sleep. After a moment, I jerked, and the chains rattled when I did. I was still secured to the tree trunk and lying on my bed. The iron cuffs around my wrists had left a red ring on my skin that was still hot to the touch, but I was human again.
I looked around the room. No blood and no entrails, but no Nix.
My heart pounded. “Nix?” My throat was raw and hurt. It was like I’d slept with my mouth open and my tongue had turned into sandpaper, but I knew better. My saliva tasted like pennies. I had transformed last night; that was for sure.
But where was Nix?
“Nix!” I called again, louder.
There was a sound coming from behind my bathroom door, and it opened. Nix appeared, her face pale, but relief washed over her features. “You’re back,” she said.
“Did it happen?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said, her voice small.
“The potion, then—did it work?”
She shook her head. Slowly, she came into the room andlooked around. “That was…a lot. But you didn’t escape. That’s what matters.”
Tears stung my eyes, and I tried to blink them away. “Nix, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize! I wanted to see it for myself. Now I know what we’re dealing with.”
I spoke the word to unlock my manacles, and they snapped open. When I was free, I rubbed my wrists, appreciating the coolness of my fingers against the heat of the burn.
Nix sat on the edge of my bed and handed me a glass of water. I drank it greedily. I was so thirsty, but thankfully not for blood.
“What did I do?” I asked, wiping my mouth with the back of my wrist.
“What’s the last thing you remember?”
“The potion, and…nothing. What happened?”
“Well, the second you drank the potion, you got this look on your face…like super calm. I asked you if everything was okay, and you answered, saying everything was fine. I almost believed you, too. And you asked why you were wearing chains and if I could take them off, and that’s when I knew something wasn’t right. I said I’d go and get you something to drink, and when I came back, you were…” A flurry of emotions passed over Nix’s face, and she composed herself as best she could. “I came back, and your legs were standing upright at the foot of your bed.” She pointed as if they were still there. “And your upper half was…”
She looked like she didn’t want to say, but I pleaded with her. “Please, Nix. Did I try to attack you?”
“No, your upper half was still chained up. Your arms were cuffed to the tree. When you heard me come in, you started thrashing around, but you couldn’t break free. I almost dropped the glass of water when you looked at me; I barely recognized you. You kept screaming that you were starving, begging me over and over again to let you go. Obviously I didn’t.”
