“What’s going on, Adam? You’ve been off since we left the fashion show. Has something happened?”
Adam wanted to lie, he wanted to sweep all of this under the rug and crawl back into his bed with this woman right beside him. But lying or ignoring this wouldn’t make this any better, so he leaned back against the countertop, spreading his hands wide on its cool surface.
“While you were talking to your ex last night, James and I were having a conversation of our own that’s been making me think about what would happen if you and I solidified this thing”—he left the silent “the way I want to” clanging in his head—“between us and went beyond just hooking up.”
She stepped back, folding her arms as if she was bracing herself for some unknown threat. “Is that what’s got you worried? You think we’re doing too much too fast?”
He shook his head. Adam had no worries about going too far with Janae. “If I’d thought you’d let me, I’d lay claim to you in a heartbeat.” He paused to regard her carefully, trying his best to help her understand just how deeply he felt for her.
“In fact, that was my original plan in bringing you here. To finally push for more.”
She straightened her stance, her glare cutting through him like a cold wind through trees on the mountain.
“Adam, I’m having a hard time following. Are you freaking out because you’re ready to take the next step with me? If you are, you don’t have to. I’m right there with you.”
His gut tightened. What he wouldn’t have given to hear those words before James had thrown a wet blanket over all Adam’s hopes for his relationship with Janae.
“After the fashion show, James told me he wants you and Marq to reconcile. He’s hoping that the two of you getting along as co-parents means you find your way back to one another again.”
She didn’t respond. Which worried him. Janae never had a problem letting you know exactly what she was thinking. The fact that she hadn’t uttered a word put him on the defensive.
She walked over to the nearby kitchen table, pulling out a chair and sitting down, crossing her legs and arms. Once he saw her fixed stare on him, he knew he’d started something Janae intended to finish.
“James told you he wants me and his dad to get back together, and you’re worried about this?” When he nodded, she did the same in kind before continuing. “Would you care to tell me why this is a concern of yours?”
He recognized this look, he’d dished it out similarly to his students whenever he was trying to wade through their bullshit and set them straight. As her calm regard remained on him, he decided it was infinitely better to be the one applying this type of scrutiny than receiving it.
“I know your son is everything to you, Janae. James is such a great kid. I don’t want to do anything that might hurt him.”
“You’ve put his arts program on the chopping block. That’s going to hurt him, and you didn’t seem to have a problem doing that.”
He flinched from that decisive blow. Apparently they weren’t holding back in this discussion.
“That wasn’t a personal slight against James and you know it. That was me doing my job as the superintendent of this district. Don’t confuse the two.”
She nodded again, pursing her lips as she paused a minute before speaking again.
“Adam, speak plainly. Tell me what’s going on. This can’t be cold feet because I haven’t put any demands or pressures on you. Why are you so upset by this?”
“I’m not upset with James.” That was the absolute truth. The boy was a great kid. Both his parents could be proud of who the young man was shaping up to be. “What he said, it just made me think that perhaps it’s not the right thing to get between you and his father.”
She rolled her eyes so hard, Adam wondered if she’d hurt something. He couldn’t understand why she was being so dismissive about this. James was her kid. One would expect her to take this more seriously.
“Here’s a news flash, Adam: No one, not even James and certainly not you, gets to determine what’s best for my life.”
“But—”
Janae raised a pointed finger to cut him off. “The sacrifices I’ve made for James have been by choice. I chose to do what I felt was best for his well-being. That is not the same thing as James getting to decide who I should be in a relationship with.”
“But he—”
She cut him off again. “He is a fifteen-year-old boy who knows as much about how adult romantic relationships work as you know about anesthesia. Why would you let something he said to you get in your head like this, especially without talking to me first?”
He had to admit that was a valid point. He opened his mouth to speak, trying to find some rational explanation as an answer but couldn’t seem to find the words.
“Adam, I appreciate you being concerned about my kid’swell-being. But if you can’t understand that I am the only person who gets to determine what’s right for me, this isn’t going to work.”
“Janae, James is not a child. He knows his own mind.”
