“You’re safe, Livysaurus. Did you have a bad dream?”
I felt more than saw her shake her head.
“Then what’s wrong?”
She spoke in such a tiny, quiet voice that I had to strain to hear her. “I don’t want you to die, Auntie Em.”
“Oh, sweetie.” I fought off another wave of tears. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I knew I couldn’t guarantee that I’d be around for a long time—my brother hadn’t made it to age thirty-two, and Livy’s mom had died in a car accident at an even younger age—but my niece needed that promise, and I wasn’t going to hold it back from her.
“But Grandma asked if I wanted to live with her and Granddad. When I came to live with you, it was because Daddy died. So if I have to live with them, does that mean you’re going to die?”
I hugged her tighter, grief and anger and heartbreak whirling in a fierce storm inside me. How could my mom bring Livy into this? How could she place a cloud of uncertainty over this little girl’s head when what she needed most of all was stability?
I wanted to scream and cry and never let go of my niece, but instead I pressed a kiss to her temple.
“Grandma only asked you that because she loves you so much and would like to have you with her all the time. Not because I’m going to die.”
“Promise?”
My heart squeezed. “I promise.”
Livy fell silent for a moment. I thought she might be drifting off to sleep, but then she spoke again. “Auntie Em, I love Grandma and Granddad, but I really love you too.”
The ache in my chest nearly stole my breath away. “I know, sweetie. And we all love you. So much.”
“But I want to stay here with you. Will Grandma be mad?”
I kissed her head. “She won’t be mad at you, sweetie. Not one bit.”
She tightened her hold on her stuffie. “And you’re not mad?”
“Of course not. How could I be mad at my sweet littleLivysaurus?” I tickled her, and she giggled, the sound soothing my soul. “Do you think you can sleep now?”
She nodded and nestled her head against my shoulder. “Just don’t leave.”
“I won’t leave,” I promised.
I shut my eyes and fought back yet another wave of tears.
Chapter
Twenty-Three
If the zombie look were in style, I would have been the height of fashion the next day. I spent the night holding Livy while I endured wave after wave of mixed emotions that left my mind and heart in far too tumultuous a state to get more than a few minutes of sleep here and there. While getting Livy ready for school, I moved about as fast as molasses in January. I got her there just in time, and I counted that as a win.
When I got back to the Mirage, I wandered the hallways like a lonely ghost. I absolutely did not want to focus on my own troubles, so I figured I should work on keeping my promise to Mrs. Nagy. The problem was that I didn’t know what to do next, and I didn’t have my team around to help me out. Jemma was working and Theo was at school, so I wouldn’t see them for hours, if at all that day. My fingers itched with the temptation to text Wyatt, but I resisted. After the bomb my mom had dropped on me, I needed a Wyatt-shaped complication in my life even less than before.
As I wandered down the third-floor corridor, the sound of voices drifted toward me. I turned a corner and saw that the door to Rosario’s apartment stood open. When I reached it, I peeked inside. Rosario sat at a card table with Carmen Álvarez, Leona Lavish, and Bitty Dover.
The four women were in the middle of a card game, and there were two bowls of snacks on the table, pushed to the corners to leave a clear space in the center.
“Your turn, Leona,” Rosario said. She had a pad of paper and a pencil on the table beside her. Her silver pineapple earrings swayed whenever she moved her head, and her chin-length hair was held back by a stretchy band of blue fabric.
With a flourish, Leona set a card face up in the middle of the table. “Ten of clubs, darlings.” She fiddled with the jewels at her throat. “You know, when I was onPassion City,I had this sizzling casino scene—”
“Your turn, Bitty,” Carmen said loudly, bulldozing Leona into silence.
