“Yeah, it totally was.”
“Good for you.”
“Then she said that we did date but she couldn’t be in my life again.”
“That must have been hard to hear.”
“I don’t know. Maybe. At first I was just glad to be right about the dating thing. Like, my instincts are good, you know? Even if my memory isn’t.”
“Absolutely.”
“But then, yeah. Kind of a bummer. I mean, what do I do now?”
“Well.” Soren shifts his crossed right leg down to the ground and crosses the left one over his knee instead. “I think you listen to her. If she says she can’t do it, then you need to respect that.”
“Yeah. Of course. Totally.”
“How does that feel?”
“Bad!”
“Good. I’m glad to hear you being honest about that.”
“Am I not always honest about my feelings?”
“In the past, not always, no. For the reasons outlined earlier.”
“Hmm.” I stare down at the Soren Rooster and resist the urge to flick it off the table. “Hey, have I ever mentioned Layla Banerjee?”
“No, I don’t believe so,” Soren says.
“Maggie said the night before I started looping, I broke up with this girl Layla. She said I love you, and I didn’t say it back.”
“Ah, yes. I knew you’d broken up with someone the night before the condition started, but I didn’t know that was her name.”
“Okay, yeah! So I’ve been thinking. Like, you’re saying I have trouble being vulnerable, so maybe I have to reach out to Layla and apologize. Maybe that’s part of my healing or whatever.”
Soren gives me a pleased nod, this time with eyes open, which makes it a little less smug. “I think that’s a great idea.”
Carter
And so:
Maggie Spear and I are over.
I mean, we never even really started.
But I hereby release her from any obligation to me, Carter Cohen.
I will stop bothering her. I will stop going to her shows. I will take the hint and get on with my stupid stuck life. That’s what a mature seventeen-year-old would do, right?
I will be the change I want to see!
It’s kind of freeing in a way.
And now at least I have someone else to focus on.
As I drive up to the curb in front of our house, my mind tabs over to Layla Banerjee. The person who, whether she knows it or not, may be the key.
