“I’m sorry, Carter,” Soren says, not seeming to mean it at all. “We’ve gone over my approach before. I won’t bring up anything from a past loop untilyoudo. Otherwise, it—”
“Gets too confusing for me, yeah, yeah. But Ididbring up Maggie! I said she seemed to be avoiding me, but I had the feeling we’d had some kind of relationship.”
“That’s right. And we discussed that.”
“But you didn’t say”—I hold up the rooster as a stand-in for Soren—“‘Uh, yes, Carter, you’re absolutely right. She was your girlfriend.’”
“You didn’t explicitly ask,” Soren says.
“Ohmigod, dude!” I put the rooster down and slide it all the way to the edge of the table. “Do you understand that not telling me shit like this isalsovery confusing?”
“I do, Carter, and again, I’m sorry. Would you like to ask me questions now?”
“I WOULD.”
He offers another smug nod.
“What did I tell you last loop about Maggie?” I ask. “When did we start dating? Did I really like her?”
“You first told me about her in the fall, September I think, but I believe you’d started dating in June. You said you didn’t want to mention it at first because it didn’t even seem like a big deal. But then you did. Mention it.”
“So I must have really liked her.”
“I think so.”
“Did I say that?”
“More or less.”
“Well, did I or didn’t I?”
Soren clasps his fingers together. “Something I’ve learned about you, Carter, is that, understandably, you have a hard time letting people in. Maybe because you know you’re going toforget them. Which is incredibly difficult.”
“That’s... I let people in all the time! I mean, I’m not even two months into this, and I’ve got close friends like Bodhi and Amir and Robbie. And so many kids in school know me. I hang with, like, everyone.”
“Of course. Yes. That’s admirable. It’s just my observation that it’s hard for you to let people into the most vulnerable parts of yourself. You’re not alone in that. It’s hard for lots of folks, even those without your condition.”
“Yeah,” I say, gnawing at one of my fingernails. “How did Maggie and I meet? School?”
“As I recall, you worked at the same ice cream place. Scoops and...”
“Scoops ’n’ Sprinkles? I worked there?”
“Apparently.”
“That’s rad. I bet I got a lot of free ice cream.”
“Probably.”
We sit in silence for a few moments as I imagine making myself a big-ass sundae with as many toppings as I want.
“I can be vulnerable, you know,” I say. “You should have seen me at the concert last night.”
“Oh?”
“After the show, I went right up to Maggie and told her that I could tell one of her songs was about me.”
“Oh wow. Was it?”
