She spun around, blue eyes wide. “I’m not saying anything.”
I gestured toward her expression. “Your face says it all, Sweetheart. You look like I just stuck you in a prison cell.”
Her palms turned up, her shoulders nearly shrugging to her ears. “I mean, that’s pretty fucking close. You can’t live here.”
She sounded like Joon—and it almost made me smile.Progress.
“I’ve lived here for ten years,” I sighed as I started putting everything away. “Before that, the room was smaller. It’s nothing I’m not used to, don’t worry about it.”
The rings around the horns on her head started to glow. “You need abed,Leo. A real bed, with real pillows. Some decorations, orsomething.I mean, fuck, even awindow.This is insane.”
I leaned against the countertop, my head starting to throb from the stress. Day one out of a hospital bed, and I was already prepared to go straight back. At least she didn’t complain about my living situation, there.
“It’s not that bad.”
She nodded. “It is. It is that bad. When’s the last time you lived somewherenormal?”
My stomach dropped, and I turned my gaze to the side before I lit a cigarette from a fresh pack. The nicotine made my head go light, but my muscles relaxed as I blew out the smoke. The place was ventilated to the extreme, and the scent of cigarettes didn’t stick to metal as badly as carpet.
“When did your ability manifest?” I asked.
She cocked her head, confused. “… I was seven, I put my class to sleep when I wasn’t paying attention and started daydreaming.”
I nodded, the words welling up inside me. It was hardnotto talk to her. Before, it was difficult to get anything out, but now, it was impossible to stop myself. Alex was a safe space—shecared. I didn’t realize how badly I’d wanted someone to just give a fuck.
“I was four. Apparently I threw a tantrum, and that’s when it came out. The house went up—” I blew the smoke out of my nose as my jaw clenched, “—my mom and I were still inside. When the fire finally went out, they found what was left of her, protecting me. She didn’t realize I wasn’t being burned.”
Alex went pale, but the words kept coming. I wasn’t necessarily sad about it; not anymore. That was all in the past, things I used to let devour me in the middle of the night. I’d gone numb to it.
“I guess my dad couldn’t stand to look at me after that. I don’t blame him; I killed her, even if I didn’t mean to. The VIA took me in, put me in specialized schools and programs to find a way to control it. I’ve always been their dog, a ward of the state. I wasalways meant to be a weapon. It’s only fair that I’m treated like one.”
“Leo—”
“I’m not saying this for your pity,” I said, quick to make sure she understood. “It’s life. It doesn’t bother me anymore. This is all just a necessary precaution.”
“Don’t do that,” she whispered.
“Don’t do what?”
I searched her face, desperate to make sure she understood, and that she didn’t get scared off. Her eyes were open, taking every piece of me in.
“Don’t act like this is normal, or that it doesn’t bother you,” she huffed. “Come here.”
“I’m sorry?”
Alex raised her arms. “Come over here now.”
I froze, my face dropping before the cigarette between my lips fizzled out, nothing but an ember at the filter as I stared at her. Finally, I broke. I walked around the counter, almost cautious as she stood there, expectant. This was an entirely new dynamic to navigate; what did she want from me, what did she expect? I didn’t want to be a disappointment anymore. Not to her, anyway.
But the moment I got within range, she laced her arms around my waist, and buried her face in my chest. My lungs stalled, and it took me a moment before I melted into her. I pulled her in carefully, as if I would break her.
“Physical touch releases dopamine, and studies have shown a correlation between human touch and mental health,” she breathed into my chest. “Basically, you need a hug. Relax, would you?”
I let out a low laugh, her head still pressed against me as I lowered my lips to the top of her head, careful not to jostle her implants. “You’re really something, you know that?”
“When’s the last time you’ve actually hugged someone?” She asked, hiding her face as her voice muffled against the fabric of my shirt.
“I don’t know.” Aside from those small, heated moments between us, I wasn’t sure.
