She falls, her body giving out as the magic rips me apart and annihilates everything around me.
24
Gareth
“Gareth.” It’s my name. I know it, but I can’t seem to follow it.
I curl in on myself tighter, my ears twitching. My name sounds again, but I bat it away. I’m tired. So tired. And sad. The word “sad” echoes through an empty place inside me. A place that shouldn’t be barren but is. There was something there only moments ago, or maybe it was years ago. A link, a golden line that connected me to—
“Gareth!” Someone shakes me.
My eyes struggle to open, and all I see is a blur. I close them again and try to regain my thoughts. There was a line. Someone on the other end. Someone special. Someone I lo—
“Gareth!”
I open my eyes and find Ravella standing in front of me, her brown face pale. “We have to go.”
I clutch something to my chest and look at her with all the confusion I feel.
“The queen is marching on the city. She’s captured Silmaran, and Brannon is on the verge of ripping her army to shreds and bringing an end to the truce.”
I want to tell her I’m weak. That I hurt. But my tiger form can’t speak. So I just look at her. The pain inside me is too great. I can feel my guts on the sand, the blood oozing from me. But that’s not what hurts. There’s something else. Some part of me that’s gone silent.
“Please, old friend.” Her eyes water as she strokes my fur. “Please, let’s go.”
Valen appears, his eyes surveying me as he holds out his hands.
“Don’t heal me,” I try to say. The pain on the inside grows even as my skin stitches itself back together and my insides are set to rights. When he’s done, my mind clears, and I shift.
Beth is in my arms, her eyes closed, her body still. Too still. Though I’m no longer in feral form, I throw my head back and roar my pain to the sky. Again and again, I cry until my lungs burn and my throat bleeds. Her heart’s blood soaks me to the bone. She died because I hesitated, because I was too afraid to unleash my magic. Because I wanted to save my friends. Why didn’t I put her first?
Around us, there is nothing. Not undead, not soldiers, not even weapons. Only the sand and perhaps a fine powder atop it. My magic is gone, spent. But too late. I didn’t risk enough for her. And now it’s too late.
“This is my fault.” I hold her close to me and rock her gently. “All of it.”
“No.” Ravella shakes her head. “No.”
“Please go. Leave me here.” I reach out and take one of Ravella’s poison daggers. “Leave me with this.”
“Gareth, no.” Valen sinks to his knees.
“Without my mate, I don’t want to be here.” I reach out my blood-stained hand and pat the young one’s cheek. I can barely see him through my tears. “I will be with her in the Glowing Lands.”
“Gareth, we need you. Leander needs—”
“I need her.” I stroke her hair from her face. Her sassy mouth is silent, and her lips will never give me that sexy half smile. Her light is gone. I now realize it was the only light I’ve ever truly known. She brought me to life. Trashed my rules and barreled into my lonely life. She was just what I needed, and she never let me down. But I let her down.
I stroke her still-warm cheek. “I’m sorry, my beloved.”
“Gareth—”
“Leave!” I bellow.
Ravella flinches.
I soften my tone as much as I can. “Please, friends. Just leave me. I’m no good to you anymore. I’m not long for Arin, and I don’t want to go on bad terms. I love you both. Give my love to Leander and Taylor, and let them know that I will be waiting for them in the Glowing Lands with Beth by my side.”
Ravella wipes her eyes and stands, her hands on her hips as she tries not to sob.
