Valen stands as well, his expression anguished. “I pray I never find my mate.”
Ravella leans down and kisses my forehead. “May the Ancestors guide you home. I love you, my friend.”
“And I you.”
Valen gives me a nod, and I return it. He turns away before I see his tears.
“Go and help with the queen. Try and stop any more bloodshed.” I say the words, but I don’t care. Nothing matters except the changeling I led to slaughter.
I keep stroking her cheek as Valen and Ravella disappear into the vale. I keep stroking her hair, love in my touch though she can no longer feel it. “You know, when I first saw you in that dungeon, I thought you were some wild creature. You have this scent, like a rainstorm. And your eyes belonged to a beast that needed to be tamed.” I smile down at her and wipe my tears from her cheek. “But you tamed me, my beloved. I thought that rules and order were what kept me safe, but it turns out that rules can be more dangerous than breaking them. You taught me that. You broke every rule you ever met, and you survived. Again and again, you came through. Because you were fearless.” I kiss her hair. “You stood up to anything and everything. And you did it with a brave heart. Now I see that my rules were based on fear. I wanted order, because without it, I’d have to feel, to experience, to risk. And with you, as you broke each one of my rules, you gave me a new life. One I experienced with you, because of you.” I pull her to me and hug her, her arms hanging limp at my sides as her head rests on my shoulder. I whisper to her, hoping she can still hear me in the Glowing Lands, “I love you, and I hope you can forgive me for letting you down. For following my rules. For not risking enough to save your life.”
I cradle her again, leaning her against my chest as I take the poisoned dagger in one hand. A swift plunge through my heart should kill me as long as I twist the blade and give the poison a chance to work. And then I can be with her again. Where I belong.
With a swift prayer to the Ancestors, I kiss my mate, raise my blade, and plunge it to my chest.
25
Beth
“You look rough.” Chastain kicks back beside me, both of us sunning on a rooftop in Cranthum.
“I do not!” I adjust the shade over my eyes and put my arms above my head. “So hot out here. Think I’m going to burn?”
“You might, but we haven’t been out here long.” He lies back, his shirt open and his eyes closed. “Feels nice.”
“Warm.” I yawn. “I think I might nap.”
“Too bad there’s a battle going on.”
I look around. The city is peaceful. “A battle?”
“Never mind.” He waves a hand. “Let’s talk about other things.”
“Like Gareth.” I grin. “Isn’t he dreamy?”
“Not my type,” he says dryly.
“Silmaran isn’t bad either. Back when we were at Granthos’s house, I gave serious thought to having a go with her.”
“Wait, what?” He eyes me.
“I’m kidding.”I’m totally not kidding.
“She’s beautiful and strong.” He sighs. “I just hope she can navigate Cranthum without me.”
“Why would she be without you?”
He looks over at me again, his blond brows drawing together. “Well, because …”
“You two are mated. That’s for life, right? I don’t see her letting go of you anytime soon.” I make a pffft noise.
He pauses, then says slowly, “Beth, where do you think you are?”
“I’m on the roof with the village idiot, apparently.” I snort.
“Beth.” His tone turns more serious. “Look at me.”
“What?” I turn to him. “What is it?”
