As apologies went, it wasn’t the best explanation. She had a bad habit of stepping outside herself when she was discussing anything controversial. It had always been important to her to hear the other side of something, even if it ended up making no sense to her.
“You just saw one of my flaws, Diego. I have a lot of them.”
He paced away from her and came back, the restless movements of a caged tiger. She recognized that he had far too many predatory traits to be able to stay indoors long. She had no idea how he’d managed to stay with her in the little den he’d set up for her before he could bring her to the cabin. She admired him all the more for that.
Diego crossed the porch twice and then returned to stand in front of her. “There is a faction already looking to wipe us out. They’ve sent soldiers after our women and children. Joe was nearly killed. I can’t tell you how many times they tried to kill Pepper and the children just because they’re different.”
“I worry for Grace. I know that I’ve passed some of my traits to her. I can see them in her already. But I never meant to imply that I felt any different from you. I identify with you and your GhostWalkers. Truthfully, a good percentage of the soldiers under Chariot’s command are good men. Part of the reason I detest that we might go to war with them is because, like your friends, they didn’t do anything wrong. They joined the program with the best of intentions. They honestly aren’t any different from you or me.”
Diego crouched down in front of her, his palms shaping her knees. Looking into his eyes immediately flooded her with warmth. He was always focused when he looked at her, as if she were the only woman in the universe. She shouldn’t have trusted an attraction that hit so hard, so fast, and maybe she didn’t, but she didn’twant to lose him. The thought of not being with Diego was extremely upsetting.
She didn’t need a man. She never had. She didn’t want to be taken care of. She wasn’t that kind of woman. Still. She looked at Diego’s very masculine features. She couldn’t conceive of leaving him behind, even if she knew it was the right thing to do to avoid a war.
“Sweetheart, I know you do your best to hear whoever is talking to you, and I should have taken that into consideration before I reacted like a hothead.”
She didn’t think he reacted like a hothead. He hadn’t yelled at her or even condemned her. He’d withdrawn. She was going to have to remember that was his first reaction. She even understood. No matter what his mother had said or done to him, he had never reacted. He withdrew, internalized everything. It was a habit that would be difficult to break.
“I want you to hear me now. I know you’re probably thinking we barely know each other. I’m absolutely certain Whitney couldn’t have paired us, and even if he had, I would be grateful that he got you to notice me. I believe you are the one woman for me. I want to take that chance with you. Whatever is happening around us, whatever the GhostWalkers or Chariot’s men choose to do, doesn’t negate the fact that I believe we should be together.”
“I feel the same way,” she felt compelled to admit. “But it’s weird that it happened so fast. Don’t you suspect something isn’t right?”
“Or it could be exactly what it’s supposed to be. Why are two people attracted to each other? I may want you physically, but we haven’t gone there. I know we can’t right now, and I’m okay with that. I’d rather spend time with you than anyone else. Even Rubin, and that’s saying something. I’ve never felt this way for anyone else, and I doubt if I ever will again. When I make a commitment, Leila, I follow through. That’s who I am.”
“You saw what happened just now. I worded my thoughts wrong and hurt you.”
“That was my issue, not yours. We’re getting to know one another. There will be things coming up we have to work through. Any long-term relationship has its ups and downs. We’re bound to fall in and out of love, but if the commitment is there, and we only focus on each other, we’ll make it.”
“I have no idea how to have a relationship, Diego,” she warned.
“We have Nonny. She was in a very good marriage. It wasn’t always easy, but they were determined to make it work, and they did. We can go to her and ask questions if we need to.”
“You’d do that?” She was a little shocked. Diego didn’t seem the type of man to consult anyone over something so personal. She liked that he would care enough to do so.
“I think we should give ourselves every opportunity for success.” He sighed and once more stood. “I’m a predator, Leila. I may have the protective instincts of all those animals and the ones I was born with, but I also have some very unfortunate traits.”
“Do they keep you alive?”
He frowned. “Yes.”
“Do those traits help you to save lives?”
He nodded slowly, his eyes softening from that hard, scary look to something she was beginning to crave.
“And those same traits help you to guard every man on your team.” She made that a statement because she knew the truth of it.
His answering smile lit her up until she was so ridiculously happy that she could make him smile after he’d been upset. They had a long way to go to understand each other, but she felt if they could keep talking things out, they had a good chance of making it.
Diego’s smile faded, and he suddenly turned his head, lifting his face toward the breeze. “Joe’s coming this way, Leila. He’s got Luther with him.”
“Luther will be able to tell us what happened with Bridget,” she said.
“He doesn’t have her with him, so be prepared for that,” he warned.
He hesitated, and she found herself tensing up. Waiting. He had something important to say and was finding the right words. That was a bit alarming to her. She looked past him to see Luther and another man striding toward them. It was easy to see the man’s Italian heritage in his good looks. It was also very easy to see he was supremely confident. He moved with a fluid power, one that surrounded him.
Joe Spagnola wasn’t particularly tall. He didn’t have the bulk that some of the other men under his command had, but he had presence. She found a little shiver moving through her body.
“He knows things,” Diego said. “It’s one of his many gifts. When I say that, it’s nearly impossible to hide much from him. We aren’t trying to.”
