He raised his eyebrow. “ ‘Ugh’?” he deliberately repeated. “You’re a soldier. You must be used to going into terrain without a clean bathroom.”
“Just because I’m used to it doesn’t mean I have to like it.” She ducked her head, refusing to look at him. “I know I’m a mess and I look more a soldier than a woman, but I can assure you, I’ve got a side that is all girl.”
He caught her chin and brought her head up. Her green eyes collided with his. Her expression was heartbreaking, as if she expected her admission to lessen his opinion of her.
“When we get to the cabin, there’s a shower and a decent bathroom. I like the fact that you have that side to you. It means I might have a shot.”
A look of utter confusion crossed her face. “A shot? At what?”
“If we’re both total alphas, how do we get along? And I want to get along with you. I don’t say that to many people. In fact, giving it some thought, the only woman I’ve ever thought that of is Jonquille, my sister-in-law. It was important for her to accept me as her family. She needed a family. She’s like your sister, no filters. Rubin is like me. We can anchor those without filters and give them some relief from the continual bombardment.”
“Do you like her? On her own, without being your brother’s wife, do you like her for who she is?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah, she’s special. I’m grateful Rubin has her. He’s very much in love with her, and she deserves him.” He smiled down at her without really feeling like smiling. “I’m not such a bargain.”
She gave him that frown he found both adorable and offensive. He didn’t like her disturbed over anything, and this time the frownwas genuine. She didn’t agree with him. He found himself liking the fact that she stuck up for him, even when he was the one putting himself down.
“You have to have women throwing themselves at you, Diego.” She made it a statement.
He wasn’t going to deny it, so he shrugged instead. “It happens. That doesn’t mean I’m not lonely or don’t want a woman of my own.”
“Have there been a lot of women?”
He recognized treacherous waters when he saw them. “Probably too many.” He turned her hand over and brought her fingers to his mouth. It was difficult to resist biting the tips gently. The desire was there. He felt a little like a wolf coaxing a mate to accept him. He realized he was courting her in his strange, wild way.
“How come you aren’t with one of them? What went wrong?”
“Nothing went wrong. We weren’t in a relationship. I don’t date. I didn’t see any of them for more than a few hours.”
Her eyebrow shot up, but she didn’t pull her hand away from his, and her body stayed relaxed against him. Trusting. He didn’t deserve her trust, not yet, but he was determined that he would.
“A few hours?” she repeated, staring straight into his eyes.
He could fall into all that vivid green and just live there. She was mesmerizing. “Yeah. I don’t like admitting I’m that big of a dick, but I made it clear going in that I wouldn’t be sticking around.”
“You know they didn’t believe you.”
“They believed me, but they didn’t want to. They mostly tried to convince me that we would be good together.”
“But you didn’t think so.”
“Honey, seriously? They sought me out, but they didn’t know the first thing about who I am or what I do. They only knew I was a doctor in the service, and they liked how I looked. There are a lotof women who like to marry servicemen. Doctors are at a premium. Not one of them took the time to have a conversation with me. It wasn’t like they cared enough to find out who I am.”
“They weren’t very intelligent,” she pointed out. “Why be with someone if you aren’t going to be best friends and have a relationship where you communicate? Where youlikethat person? Shouldn’t a relationship be like that?” Her fingers tightened around his.
“It matters to me what you think. What kind of relationship would you like?” He felt as if he were holding his breath. Everything in him went utterly still. Waiting for the crash. Waiting to be told a man like him would never stand a chance with her.
“When I think about having a husband and family, which, in all honesty, I didn’t ever believe could happen to me, I know I want us to be best friends first. I want to laugh with him all the time. If we have children, I want their father to laugh with me at their antics. My parents were like that. Always together. Always laughing. My dad would dance my mother around the kitchen. Or the living room. Music was always playing in our house, and he would just catch her around the waist and spin her around and then pull her close. The way they looked at each other was priceless.”
“What were you doing when they danced together?” He wished he could have seen her as a young child in a happy home.
“Dancing with my sister. We’d all hold hands sometimes, or Dad would dance with me and Mom with Bridget.” She pressed her lips together, and he tightened his fingers around hers, wanting to comfort her. “I miss them every day.”
Did he miss his father? His mother? He missed his siblings but not his parents so much. He hadn’t thought about that, or why. He’d just tucked them away in a compartment in his mind and firmly closed and locked the door.
“Your parents sound like good people. Luther was that way with Lotty. We’d sneak down to visit her occasionally, and whenLuther would show up, we’d just fade into the forest, but we always watched them together before we slunk off for home. Luther knew we were there, but it never stopped him from picking her flowers or sweeping her off her feet and carrying her into the house. Sometimes he did dance with her, and he sang. Don’t ever let on I told you that or he’d likely take my head off. He loved Lotty more than anything.”
“What was she like? She would have been my great-aunt.”
