She blinked, the long lashes veiling her eyes. That told him volumes, even more than the flicker of worry in her mind.
“She’s not been well,” she admitted somewhat reluctantly. “Tora has had to heal her several times lately.”
That gave him pause. When a Carpathian healed someone, particularly a human, they generally only had to do so once. The person might fall ill with some other affliction, but not for a long time because their immune system was strengthened.
“Several times?” he echoed. “Recently? How many times is several, and how close together were the healing sessions?”
Silke looked at him sharply. There was no getting around his brisk, all-business tone. They had been finding their way with one another, dancing around each other carefully, and he had gone straight into Carpathian ancient commanding mode.
“In the last month Tora has done four healing sessions with Fenja.”
He heard the soft note of trepidation, of vulnerability, in her voice. That got to him. His woman was strong, a warrior. She stood on her own and fought for others. Fenja was her only family unless one counted Tora. Fenja was her mother. Benedek didn’t know what having a real mother felt like, but clearly, the woman meant the world to Silke.
Silke tried to be stoic, tried to conceal her sudden fear when he had inadvertently revealed there might be a real problem with her mother’s health that couldn’t be fixed. Tora was an ancient Carpathian woman. She was adept at healing. He knew she had to be or she wouldn’t still be alive. That meant something was seriously wrong with Fenja. Tora knew, but she hadn’t disclosed the information to Silke.
“That’s bad, isn’t it?” Silke whispered. She wrapped her arms around her middle, hugging herself. Withdrawing from him.
For the first time, Benedek saw the fragility in her. She didn’t want him to see it, but it was there in her mind. In her heart. She wasn’t prepared to let go of her mother.
Benedek chose his words with care. “It can be.”
Her heart accelerated and she didn’t try to stop it. She just looked up at him with her wide sapphire eyes. If she wept, his own heart might stop.
“You mean it is,” she corrected.
“I would have to examine her before I could say definitely,” he said. “Surely Tora would have informed you if the situation were grave.”
Silke took a deep breath. “Tora would have told me unless Fenja asked her not to. She would honor Fenja’s wishes.”
“Would your mother do that?”
Silke drew in more air, and he realized she was holding her breath for long moments. Her heart still beat wildly. She nodded. “Yes. She would want to spare me the worry if she knew what she had wasn’t curable even by the Carpathian method of healing.”
Benedek reached for her slowly, careful of intruding. Careful of startling her. He found it was imperative to offer her comfort. He wanted to draw her into his arms and surround her with his strength, but he was certain she wouldn’t be accepting of that. It would make her feel even more vulnerable than she was already feeling. Instead, he shackled one slender wrist and drew her hand toward his chest.
“Feel my heart,o jelä sielamak.” He pressed her palm over the heavy muscles of his chest, directly over his beating heart. “Feel the rhythm and match your heartbeat to mine.”
For a brief moment, there was tension in her arm and hand. Resistance. When he realized she wasn’t used to being touched or comforted, he found the need to do just that. Unable to resist the temptation, he searched the memories of her childhood. Her mother and Tora were the only two constants he could find in her life. Neither woman was the type to hold a crying child and soothe her when she was hurt. Fenja was loving but matter-of-fact, seizing every fall or mishap to use as a teaching moment. Tora was the same because she was responsible for ensuring Silke survived each battle with demons.
Both women were affectionate in their mannerisms toward Silke while she grew up, but they weren’t ever going to hug her tight and kiss her better. Some children were okay with little sentiment, but Silke wasn’t one of those children. She had secretly longed for those things. It was one of the reasons she gravitated toward the children in the village. Most of them wanted hugs, and Silke was happy to provide for them.
He filed that knowledge of her away, knowing it was an important part of her personality. As her lifemate, determined to do his best for her, he would have to learn to provide the things she needed. Silke wasno longer aware she yearned for the closeness of touch, but he saw it clearly. And she wasn’t ready to let go of her mother.
Her heart settled into the rhythm of his, following his slower, steadier beat. He took the opportunity to slide the pad of his thumb over the back of her hand as he pressed her palm into his chest. Heat seared him. That small palm felt like a brand sinking through his skin and muscle to claim his heart. The sensation was so strong he looked inside himself expecting to see her name stamped across his heart.
“I will examine Fenja this night after we complete the lifemate ceremony.”
Her heart, connected to his, jumped but then steadied. “Fenja is a powerful seer. It is possible she will know your intention,” she cautioned.
He noticed she avoided the subject of him claiming her as his lifemate. Not only did she avoid it verbally, but she shied completely away from it in her thoughts. The moment the topic rose in her mind, she slammed that door shut fast.
“Fenja is your mother, Silke, and a wise woman. An elder. I would not disrespect her by trying to keep her in the dark about what I’m doing.”
“And if she refuses?” Silke lifted her eyes to his, gaze steady. “What then?”
“Then I consult with you on what you would have me do. I can examine her without her knowledge if it was deemed by you to be necessary. I would not like to go against her wishes, but to make you comfortable with her situation, I would do it for you. I would do my best to persuade her, letting her know you’d rather face the truth.”
Her gaze wavered and she looked down. Her fingers curled into his shirt, fisting over his heart. “I would hope I have the courage to face the truth, Benedek. I honestly don’t know what I’ll do if I lose Fenja. I’ll be so lost.”
