She did believe that he wanted to be there with her. She had to believe that. She would shatter into a million pieces if he was with her and such a good liar that she couldn’t read him. She’d been so careful to learn how to read other people, and she had to rely on her instincts. Her instincts told her that despite what Andrii said about himself, he was a good man.
She needed to drop the Billows question for now and wait until she could process better. There were other important things she needed to know about Andrii.
“Are you prone to violence?”
“Absolutely. I was raised with violence. If someone like Billows threatens my family or friends, my first thought is to make the world a better place and take him out. What I do not ever do is harm an innocent, and certainly not someone I care about. Having said that, you and I will need to come to several understandings. That’s why we’re talking now. You need to understand that while I would never harm you, that doesn’t mean if you got out of line, I wouldn’t punish you.”
“Out of line?” She echoed the one thing that she could safely address. He had alluded to punishments before, andshe’d put that out of her mind. She knew they would be discussing it eventually, but she needed her wits about her. Talking about punishments on top of everything else was way too much.
“Out of line. Don’t listen when it comes to your safety. I told you that to function properly and safely in my world, I need control. That means I have to know the person I treasure most in the world is safe. I need to know she trusts me to keep her that way. And when I ask her to do something for me, it’s because I have my reasons and she trusts me enough to know that whatever is happening, I’ll explain when I can. Or maybe I’m asking something of you because I need reassurance that I matter.”
Azelie frowned. “You’re confusing me.”
“You won’t be confused. I’ll lay out the few rules we have, so if you break them, I’ll know you did so purposely. That earns you punishment.”
“I’m not a child, Andrii. I like to think for myself, not just follow someone blindly.” She meant it, and yet what he was asking for didn’t seem too big a deal—without the punishment part. Punishment wasn’t attractive at all in a relationship.
“I don’t want a puppet, Zelie. I think you already know that. I like the way you think. You have a good mind. You’re intelligent. You’re able to laugh at yourself, and you find situations with me amusing when others would be afraid. I love all that about you. I wouldn’t change anything at all. You want to tell me off because you think I’m wrong, you do it. But when I tell you something to do, such as don’t move from where you are because it isn’t safe, I expect you to follow orders, knowing I wouldn’t give you an order like that unless it was necessary.”
Her frown deepened. “I doubt you’re going to give me unreasonable orders, Andrii,mostof the time. But I might screw up, and I’m not a woman who would find punishments sexy.”
“Punishments aren’t meant to be sexy. They’re meant to be reminders never to screw up again.”
“Exactlywhat would a punishment entail?”
He didn’t flinch or look away. “You over my knee. It won’t be erotic or sexy. It would hurt, but we’ll both know you won’t forget the lesson.”
“Spankings may sound hot in a book, Andrii, but I wouldn’t like it.” She was absolutely certain of that. Absolutely.
“You aren’t supposed to like it. You’re supposed to remember to do as you’re told.”
Her heart was back to pounding. Hard. “What if you get out of control?”
“Baby, sit on the floor for me. Right in front of me.” He helped her slide from his lap but kept his hands on her waist.
She was happy to get a little space between them, even if it meant sitting between his legs on the floor. She sat tailor-fashion, staring up at him.
Andrii’s eyes lightened in color, almost to liquid mercury. “Control. That’s something we need to discuss further.”
She didn’t know what that meant, but she had to bite back a whimper. At least it wasn’t a moan. The way he saidcontrol, the way his eyes went dark with desire, sent her pulse racing. Heat rolled through her veins and emptied into a pool of melted lava right into the pit of her stomach and lower. That didn’t bode well for her, but he’d been in control of the two of them when he’d had sex with her, and she’d reaped the benefits.
“When I tell you I want to be the one in control, I’m not just talking about in the bedroom. You trusted me to satisfy you there, and I did. I’ll give you whatever you want or need—eventually. I like to play. I know you’re going to like playing. Some of the things we’ll be doing might be a little scary to you at first, but if you trust me enough, you’ll find you enjoy everything we do.”
“With the exception of your punishments,” she whispered.
“Then don’t fuck up. If you do, do it knowing what you have coming.”
Instinctively, she’d pulled back, but he reached down to take her wrist, pulling her hand to his thigh. His touch was gentle but firm. She knew if she pulled away, his fingers would tighten. He couldn’t fail to read her elevated pulse or feel the fine tremors going through her body. She felt mesmerized by him, under a spell she couldn’t quite get out from under.
“You’re asking a lot of me, Andrii. You want me to take everything on faith. That’s a lot of trust when I don’t really have any idea who you are or why you’re asking these things of me. You have to know that it feels very one-sided.”
He sighed but nodded, suddenly looking serious. “I guess now is as good a time as any to discuss our needs. I thought a date or two might be a good thing before I tell you what’s important to me in a relationship. I want to hear what you need, but I’ll admit I’m very good at reading you.”
She blushed. The heat was alarming under her skin. “I don’t think that’s good, Andrii.”
“Because you’re attracted to me? I like that you’re honest. No games with you. When I ask you a question, you answer me, even if it’s difficult for you. You don’t pretend you aren’t interested in me, or that you couldn’t care less about a sexual relationship. You show me every time you look at me that you want me. Do you have any idea how that can make a man feel?”
“Arrogant? Overconfident?”
