“Aspen!” a harsh voice cuts through the air as I shake.
It’s then that I realize I’m not shaking with fear but from Asher trying to wake me up.
“Are you with me, Songbird?” he asks as I sob.
“Yeah, I’m here.” I swallow hard, my throat raw.
“Thank Christ,” he mutters before pulling me into his arms.
He holds me as I cry until my tears dry up.
“You were having a nightmare,” he whispers.
“I was,” I rasp, my throat dry.
“Here.” Asher pulls away slightly and grabs a glass of water off the nightstand.
After chugging half of it, I hand it back.
“Thank you.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks as he pulls me back into his arms.
For a moment, I contemplate telling him it was about Monster and leaving it at that, but he deserves to know more. He deserves to know what he’s getting himself into.
By the time I finish telling him about the nightmare and other instances with Monster just like the first night, my throat is dry once again.
“I’m sorry,” he rasps, his voice filled with pain.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I owe you an apology. I was too hard-headed to listen when you told us to get out,” I tell him.
“Aspen, you were just being you. Don’t apologize for being who you are. I just wish I was there to protect you more. I wish my hands hadn’t been tied, and I was able to get you out of there faster. You didn’t deserve any of that. Hell, no one does.” He presses a kiss to my temple.
“Do you really forgive me?” I ask hesitantly.
“For what?” he asks.
“For forcing you? For putting us in the position where we had to have sex in front of everyone?” I ask quietly.
Asher goes tense beneath my touch. Only when I try to pull away does he relax. Through it all, though, he never lets go. If anything, he holds onto me tighter.
“For the last time, Songbird, you didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. I could have walked away, but chose not to. As fucked up as it is, I wanted you. I couldn’t stand the thought of him putting his hands on you. I just wish our first time wasn’t like that.”
“Are you sure?”
He sighs. “Yes, I wouldn’t lie about something like that. Not to you.”
I bury my face into his chest. “Okay. It might take a couple of times of you repeating it before it starts to stick.”
He kisses my cheek. “That’s okay. I’ll tell you as many times as you need me to until the day I die, Songbird.”
I flinch at the thought of him dying.
No. No, that can’t happen.
“I need you to promise me that you won’t die first. I don’t think I could live without you. Not now,” I whisper.
“I don’t think it works like that, baby,” he says with humor in his voice.
