Pulling out of his hold, my gaze meets his. There are no judgments or adverse feelings there. Just acceptance and something deeper. An emotion that reminds me of how I’ve felt about him all these years, but I shake the image free.
He can’t…
He doesn’t…
Grabbing hold of his hand, I take a deep breath before divulging the rest of my confession. “I just freaked a little realizing we had sex without protection.”
“Betty, I.”
“No,” I shake my head. “I didn’t freak out because I didn’t want a baby.” Meeting his gaze once more, my vision clouds with tears. Just as the first one falls, he wipes it away. “You’re the only man I’ve ever envisioned a family with, and I don’t know what last night was. I don’t know if you meant the things you said or how long before you pull away again. That’s terrifying, Nash. So rather than allowing myself to get lost in the fantasy of us once more, I was gonna go into town, buy a Plan B, and never say a word to you about it.” Averting my gaze, shame washes through me. “I know that’s shitty. I still feel horrible for not telling Ryan all those years ago, but it took me too long to crawl out of the pit of depression that it caused. But with you, if you walked away, I wouldn’t survive another one.”
A rough palm slides over my cheek before Nash’s lips brush mine. The kiss is soft, communicating so much more than words ever could. He doesn’t deepen it or consume me the way he hadthe night before. It feels like he’s telling me to trust in his words. To trust in us and what we might become.
“Listen to me when I say this,” Nash’s voice lowers as his eyes lock with mine. “I hope I got you pregnant. I meant what I said. This, us,” he points between our chests, “is happening. You’re mine, Beatrice Hughes. Most would say for as long as you’ll have me, but that’s not good enough. You’re mine no matter what. Good, bad, angry, or filled with joy. I’ve let you go over and over again, and I won’t do that again. You need a break from me? Pick another room, go shopping with your friends, I don’t care, but this is happening.”
Dropping my head again, I only nod. I don’t know how to respond to that. Every part of me wants to believe the conviction in his words, but my experience with him tells me it’s only a matter of time.
He will walk away again.
But for today, maybe I can live the fantasy. For now, I can enjoy it until I wake up from the dream, and I’m once again devastated.
Placing a chaste kiss on his mouth, I force a smile. Betty is good at pretending. She can do it now, too. “If that’s true, then I would suggest you feed me.”
Chapter 31
Nash
My body vibrates with the purest joy. I’ve never felt like this in my life, not with any accomplishment or even marrying Katherine. I’ve never felt so at peace as listening to Betty cackle at my kitchen island, drinking coffee in her bare feet, while I cook enough to feed the entire town.
“I’m surprised you actually know how to cook,” she snickers, filling her mug for the third time.
Grabbing hold of her wrist, I pull her body flush against mine. “You’re gonna drink all my coffee, Andromeda.” She only shrugs, tucking the newly filled mug to her chest. “You’re lucky you taste better than any coffee bean in this world,” I snap my teeth at her, releasing her so I can swat her ass.
She yelps, scurrying away, sliding back onto the barstool closest to me.
We’re a pair of regular caffeine addicts. The thought makes me chuckle aloud as I shake my head. Flipping another pancake outof the pan, she whoops as if I just completed some herculean feat.
This is what I imagined relationships were supposed to be like. Fun and full of laughter, doing the mundane tasks of daily life. Puckering my lips in her direction, hoping she’ll give me the hundredth kiss since we came down to the kitchen almost an hour ago, she snorts. But she’s up off the stool again, never releasing her mug, kissing my mouth, only to giggle louder as she tries to pull away while I pepper more all over her face.
“Nash, stop,” she snorts. “You’re gonna make me spill my coffee.”
“Then stop moving and let me kiss you as much as I want.”
She only snorts again, finally getting out of my hold. “You’re impossible when you’re all happy ‘n stuff.”
Her comment makes me pause, wondering if everyone thinks I’m unhappy. I’m not the type to care about what others think. But I’ve never actually thought about it. It’s all streamlined focus for me. Work, business, gym, work some more, family. With such an even-keeled lifestyle, I never thought anyone would think I was unhappy with the life I had chosen.
I was. I am. But now that I have Betty, the priorities and lifestyle will change. And I want that. It was a life I expected Katherine and I would find at some point, but we never did. We were only roommates by the end. There was never that passionate sort of love that sets the blood in your veins on fire or makes your heart race a million beats a minute.
“Nash!”
“Hmm,” I hum, not realizing Gray had been calling my name. “Oh, hey. When did you two get down here?”
“Long enough for River to fight me over the coffee again,” Gray groans.
A chuckle leaves me as I pull the last strips of bacon from the pan and drop them on the serving plate. “Well, perfect timing. Y’all should eat something before you get on the road.”
“I’m starving,” River rubs her stomach, not hesitating to grab one of the plates I set out, and piling it high. Even before we found out she was pregnant, the woman ate plenty. Gray was happy to tell us all about their life together, and from time to time, she’d bring him lunch, so we all got to witness it firsthand.
