When I trail off, her smile only widens, causing faint lines to appear beside her kind eyes. “I know, honey.”
“What?”
“You and Hayden… I know.”
All the air rushes from my lungs, and for a moment, I think my legs might give out. I suspected she might have figured things out, but hearing the words from her lips causes reality to come crashing down. I take a few measured breaths as I prepare for the conversation I’ve been dreading.
“We didn’t mean for it to happen.” My lip trembles, and tears begin to stream down my cheeks before I can stop them.
My mother’s warm expression is replaced with panic. Placing both hands on my arms, she turns me to face her. “Honey, why are you crying? And trying to explain yourself?”
My mouth drops open, and I’m sure I look like a fish out of water as I gape at her. I’ve been feeling like the biggest liar ever since that first kiss. Hayden is their friend. In no scenario did I see my mother not completely losing her mind over this. Not only is he their friend, but he’s sixteen years older than I am.
“Because it’sHayden!And we didn’t tell you. And-”
“Honey, I’m your mother. You think I bought that story of you quitting Boulder Ranch because you wanted to work at Wilber’s? As soon as I saw the two of you together before your trip to pick up Ginger and Snickerdoodle, I had a feeling I knew exactly why you’d left the ranch.”
Her lips curve into a smile, and a bit of the weight on my chest begins to lift. Even though I’m feeling a bit lighter, the guilt I’ve been carrying lingers. I’ve always been close to my parents, but have spent months lying to them, and encouraging Hayden to do the same.
“I’m sorry we kept it a secret. We tried to stay away from each other…”
“Honey, I’m not upset. And I think the only person you’ve successfully kept it from is your dad.” She pauses to laugh and shakes her head. “But we know how well he pays attention to things. I like Hayden. If he makes you happy, then who am I to get in the way of that? Do you love him?”
Once again, I find myself gaping at my mother like I’ve just landed on this planet and don’t speak the language or understand the species. Do I love him? The word “yes” is at the tip of my tongue, but I bite it back. If I say it, it’ll make it real. And that would change everything.
“I really like him,” is what I settle on. “You didn’t tell Dad?”
She shakes her head. “No. But he did notice your truck wasn’t home last night. I just smiled and gave him a shrug.You’re an adult. Your dad trusts and loves his friend. I’m sure when he does put two-and-two together, he’ll understand. Hayden is a good man, and we both just want to see you happy.”
A little more of the guilt eases from the pit of my stomach. She’s right. I am an adult. I don’t have to answer to anyone, and Hayden truly is a good man. It suddenly feels a bit silly that we’ve kept things a secret. My parents are good people. They would never disown me or let anything put a wedge between us. None of that stops this situation from being awkward as hell, though.
My mother holds onto my arm, leading me into the house. “Now, let’s get inside for some of the goodies Sierra and I worked so hard on. And hopefully we can talk more over dinner.”
As soon as I step into the living room, I find Hayden and my dad sitting down with beers in hand. My dad sits forward, and when I flick my gaze to Hayden, the intensity of his stare causes me to freeze. My dad knows. I can feel it. Hayden doesn’t have to confirm it; it’s all over his face.
“Hey, Randi,” my dad says, my childhood nickname doing nothing to calm my anxiety. “Why don’t you and your mother grab a glass of wine, and we can talk.”
Chapter 39
Miranda
My skin prickles, and I begin to sweat, despite my truck’s AC being on full blast. I’m not sure if I’m more nervous that the interview will go well, or that I’ll mess it up. Nothing has felt right ever since the conversation with my parents. I never expected them to support a relationship between Hayden and me, but they actually seemed happy.
Once dinner was over, I quickly made my escape to my house so I could process everything, so I didn’t have a chance to ask how things went between Hayden and my dad. From what my mom said, it’s clear they must have had a conversation before we got to the house.
But none of those things matter. Moving out and starting over has nothing to do with it. Regardless of what set this plan in motion, the facts are that I need to set out into the world and do something that I want to do. Climbing out of my truck, I straighten my clothes and make my way down the path to the library entrance. I’m sure if this had been even a few weeks ago,there’s nothing that could have made me happier. But now, I brace myself as I prepare to walk into the old building.
As soon as I open the door, I’m greeted by the scent of old books. Memories of the school library flood my mind as I walk down the narrow hallway. The library is in the city, but it’s a historic building and carries the fragrance of hardwood and memories past. Stepping inside, I close my eyes and breathe in the heavy scent.
“Miranda?”
My attention is grabbed by the sound of an old woman’s voice. I look up to find an elderly woman in a classic old pantsuit and her white hair pulled into a tidy bun. She smiles warmly at me before extending her wrinkled hand in my direction.
“I’m Mary. I spoke with you on the phone to schedule the interview. I’m so glad you made it. Follow me.”
I follow her down the hall and around the corner to a small office. The only thing saving it from being claustrophobic is the large picture window. She sits at her desk, and I take the seat across from her. Along with the scent of books, it also smells like coffee and perfume, which reminds me even more of my school days.
“So, Ms. Wells, what made you decide to apply to the Carruthersville Public Library?”
