She smiled back at her daughter, noticing that her face appeared strained. Phoebe’s lips were tight and her cheeks were a bit pale. Ginny hoped she wasn’t feeling too anxious, or queasy after traveling to Italy.
Adrian slipped a hand into his pocket and produced a small black box. He flipped open the lid to reveal a beautiful diamond ring inside.
Ginny blinked hard. “For me?” she asked.
“Of course.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“So are you.” He smiled.
The celebrant motioned for them to move closer together. She was impeccably dressed in a slim-fitting blue dress, her brunette hair up in a tight bun. She was Italian and spoke fluent English.
Ginny tried to calm herself, focusing on the rise and fall of her chest. She was aware of Adrian running his thumb across the top of her fingers and Phoebe caressing her own stomach.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are ready to begin,” the celebrant said.
A hush fell across the room.
“You were first joined together in matrimony twenty-five years ago, not yet knowing what life had in store for you both. Yet you promised to love, honor and cherish each other, throughout life’s highs and lows. You have no doubt persevered through many blessings and challenges over the years, and today you are both here to reaffirm your vows of love and respect for each other.
“As you celebrate your life together and reflect on your shared journey, do you now wish to reaffirm the marriage vows that you committed to twenty-five years ago?”
As the celebrant spoke, random thoughts began to flourish in Ginny’s mind, about how she’d been around Loretta’s age when she’d first met Adrian. Was it feasible to commit to loving someone for a lifetime at that age? It was romantic, but was it sensible? Had she missed out on beach bars and splashing in the sea with friends? Perhaps she should have dated around more or gone traveling before settling down.
“Ginny,” Adrian prompted softly. “I’ve saidI do.”
He and the celebrant were looking at her, waiting for her answer, too. Ginny glanced at Phoebe’s stomach again and thoughts kept skittering around in her brain.
“Are you okay?” Adrian asked.
Ginny nodded, but didn’t speak. She side-eyed her husband and noticed the tiny hole in his ear again. Adrian had said Phoebe’s pregnancy brought him to his senses, but he’d pursued meeting up with Jennyafterhe’d seen the scan.
Memories suddenly rushed back to her of standing under the white rose arch, swaying and falling. A wave of nausea came over her and the room began to spin.
When Ginny looked at her husband, all she could focus on was his piercing and she recalled him hoisting his suitcase out of their home. Walking away from their life together.
She screwed her eyes shut and tried to summon up good advice for herself. If she could reframe her situation it might allow her to feel more in control. Instead of dwelling on Adrian’s mistake, she should focus on their long and happy marriage instead. Ginny couldn’t change the fact that he’d left her, but she could address her own attitude toward it, to look forward and not back.
Except, she found her own advice didn’t work. Her usual practicality was overtaken by a strong gut feeling instead. It was a sensation in her stomach rather than words in her mind. And it was telling her not to go ahead with the ceremony.
She tried to fight the feeling, not to pay attention to it. In her job, she’d become used to listening to her head rather than her heart. Her windpipe muscles contracted and hurt, as if she’d swallowed a plum. But she knew how she really felt inside.
Shecouldn’trenew her vows to Adrian.
Even though the room was turning and everyone was staring at her, Ginny’s voice was loud and clear when she spoke. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” she said. “This isn’t the right solution.”
The couple of minutes that followed went by at a snail’s pace. Ginny was aware of Adrian’s face contorting, and her own bouquet falling to the floor with petals scattering everywhere. She saw Pete consoling Phoebe.
Ginny turned around and saw how Loretta’s eyes were wide with surprise and that Edna wore a slight smile.
She spun back to face Adrian. “I’m really sorry,” she repeated. “You’re right that I can’t solve everyone else’s problems while denying my own. I can’t cover things up any longer. We haven’t resolved our issues yet, and promising to stay with you for the rest of my life, in front of others, isn’t the right way to do it.”
Adrian took a few moments before moving closer, his eyes full of shock. “Ginny,” he said, circling his arms around her. He rested his chin on top of her head. “I thought this was what you wanted. I don’t want to force you to do anything.”
“Itwaswhat I wanted,” she said. “And now I don’t know. Things are still muddy between us and we need time to become friends again.”
Adrian held her more tightly. “But, I love you,” he said.
