My brows furrow as I rack my brain for what she could possibly be talking about.
“What do you mean?”
“For warning me that Ellie was going to call all pissed off about me knowing before her. She was really upset about it.”
Shaking my head, I rest it on my hand as I stare out the large window and watch the rain fall.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t know she was going to call you,” I apologize. I guess I should call Haley and see how she’s doing considering Ellie must have talked to her too.
Gwen chuckles on the other end. “It’s okay. She’s over it now. Are you happy?” she asks, sounding genuinely interested.
I think about it for a moment. Am I happy? Does Holland make me happy? Even though I’m scared shitless as to what might happen, I think the answer is yes.
A small smile pulls at my lips. “Yeah, I think I am.”
Gwen squeals. “Good. I am so happy you found someone that could break down that wall you built inside yourself. You deserve to be happy, Lane. If Holland makes you happy, then I am so glad you found him.”
My smile grows wider as thoughts of Holland and the past weeks play in my head. Maybe I do deserve to be happy. Maybe this is my time, and I need to fully embrace it. Now that our relationship is all out there, we don’t need to pretend.
I’m still terrified of the outcome. I mean, fairytales don’t exist, right? Noone is happy all of the time, and when things seem too good to be true, they usually are. A part of me doesn’t want to let myself feel this happy, this at peace because I know the world can snatch is away at any moment.
This could all come crashing down and blow up in my face. Holland could realize I’m more than he bargained for and decide that he doesn’t want to deal with it anymore.
What then?
“Lainey?” Gwen’s voice breaks me out of my doom cycle.
“What? Sorry, I-” I’m cut off before I can finish what I was saying by a sopping wet, green eyed God plops down in the seat across from me.
Holland pushes a hand through his wet hair and shakes, water dripping all over my books and papers. He gives me a cheeky grin, and I almost can’t be annoyed with the fact that he got my stuff all wet.
“Hey, Gwenny. I’ll call you back later, I have to go,” I tell Gwen before hanging up the phone and setting it face down on the table. I give Holland a questioning look.
“What the hell? You got my books all wet,” I scold. He chuckles a bit, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. God, he’s so hot.
“I could make other things wet if you’d prefer,” he teases, and my clit pulsates at the thought. I clamp my thighs together to keep myself grounded.
Rolling my eyes, I lean on the table. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see my girl,” Holland says nonchalantly. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that, being his girl.
“I told you; I’m studying. I have a test tomorrow and Professor Nimmens is a hardass.”
Holland moves to lean over the table, landing on my books and inching much closer to me. Our arms touch, and just that small brush of contact makes my hair stand up.
“I’ll put something hard in your ass,” he says, a bit too loudly.
Slapping his arm, I shake my head and try to contain my laughter. He’s like a child. If I laugh, it’ll only make him continue.
“You have to go, you’re too distracting and I need to concentrate,” I tell him sternly, pulling my book toward me and attempting to read the page, but I’m too distracted by the man sitting across from me.
I feel his stare, smell his cologne, sense his presence. It’s making it near to impossible to focus.
“I have to talk to you,” he tells me, and his tone switches from playful to kind of serious. My stomach drops as I think of every possible thing he could say. Is he breaking it off? Is he over it already, over me?
No, he couldn’t be. He just called me his girl; he came to see me. There’s no way it could be anything like that, right?
I take a deep breath through my nose before meeting his gaze.
