“Whatever you say, dear. All I’m saying is give her time. She’ll let you know how she feels when she’s ready to.”
She’s right. I can’t force Lainey to tell me how she feels. It’ll just push her away, and it already feels like she’s pulling away as things get more serious.
“Okay, mom.”
What has happened to me? A couple of months ago I couldn’t even imagine being in love, having a girlfriend, wanting someone to want me just as badly as I want them. Now, all I want is to hear Lainey tell me she loves me too. I’m a little bitch.
I can’t tell the guys about this, especially Mason. I’ll never hear the end of it. Ryker might understand since he was even more against relationships than I was, but I feel like an idiot.
It’s like I’m a completely different person when I’m around her. My guard is down, and I get this weird feeling in my stomach, and my palms get all clammy. I mean, I feel like a little girl with her first crush. This is ridiculous.
But I don’t think I care. Maybe my mom is right. Maybe this has been a long time coming, and it isn’t as sudden as it feels. Maybe I’ve been slowly falling in love with her for years.
“I love you, honey. Talk soon, okay?” Mom says, and I nod.
“I love you too, mom. Talk soon.”
The line goes dead, and I’m left sitting on the edge of my bed, still dripping from my shower, staring at the wall.
That’s the second person to tell me they’ve seen Lainey and I getting together. How many more have assumed this would happen and never said anything?
Does it even matter? I mean, it did happen, sort of. Lainey is mine now, and she knows I’m hers. I don’t think she’s planning on seeing anyone else, I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m not looking for anyone else either.
I just need to talk to her, straighten everything out. I need to know what she’s thinking, how she’s feeling. I need her to know that I don’t plan on going anywhere, and if that’s what’s keeping her from telling me how she truly feels then she has nothing to worry about.
She has to know that I would never do anything to hurt her. Sure, we’ve said some hurtful things in the past, but we were always just busting each other’s balls. It never actually meant anything.
But I’d never purposely hurt her. I’d never leave her, not like her-
Her parents. Her parents left her. They left and they’ve only popped in occasionally to check in or have brief interactions with her. Lainey has grown up thinking people just up and leave when they’re done with her. But I’m not them.
There’re two things I know for certain. I’ll never leave her, and I’m definitely fucking screwed if she ends up not feeling the same way because I am one hundred percent in love with her.
Chapter 40
Lainey
Rain drops pound against the roof of the massive campus library as I sit at a large table with my books spread out in front of me. I have a sociology test tomorrow morning that I had completely forgotten about until this morning.
I’ve been so preoccupied lately that I haven’t been able to focus on my schoolwork. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been a straight A student, and I’ve never really cared about my grades. However, I would like to graduate this semester and start looking for jobs.
I was thinking of taking a bit of a break after school ends, maybe travelling or something while I explored all my options. At least, that was my plan until a certain boy came in and screwed it all up.
Never did I imagine I’d have a boyfriend, especially one named Holland Monroe. I fully anticipated being the fun aunt to Gwen and Ellie’s kids. You know, the one that helps them learn how to drive, takes them on fun trips, and teaches them how to live on the wild side occasionally.
Now I’m thinking about a future with this man and how many kids we’ll have and where we’ll end up living. I think we’d move closer to the city, where Gwen and Ryker live so Holland can be more involved in the clubs.
I’d probably find a job as a school psychologist or something. Maybe at the school Gwen teaches at. Who knows.
My phone vibrates against the table and Gwen’s name flashes across the screen. I quickly pick it up and answer it.
“Hello,” I whisper, trying my best to stay quiet. There aren’t many people around me but it’s still a library.
“So, it’s official then? You and Holland?” she asks with a teasing lilt to her tone. I roll my eyes. Of course, Ellie called and told her about the new discovery.
“Yup, I guess so” I reply, not exactly sure where this conversation is going. The last thing Gwen knew was that Holland and I kissed before the wedding.
“Finally. It’s about damn time. Honestly, I thought you two would never figure your shit out. Thanks for the heads up by the way.”
