“Right.” He runs a hand over his hair, making the ends stick up wildly. “Okay. Well. It’s like this. My team didn’t demand I get engaged.”
“They . . . didn’t?”
“No. They didn’t even ask for me to be in a relationship.It was more broad strokes, clean up your act and stop being a clown.”
“But, why—”
“Because I opened a door, and there you were. Penelope Morrow. The one I’ve always wanted.”
“Wait.Wait!What?”
“And for once,for fucking once, you weren’t looking at me with your cute little nose wrinkling in distaste. For once, you talked to me, flirted with me. Christ, Pen. Do you understand what that did to me? Fucking poleaxed. Made my head spin.”
He’s at the edge of his chair now, his big body straining toward mine as he confesses in a rough voice. “Not only that, but, once you really started talking, Iloved it. I always suspected we’d have fun together, given the chance. But to actually know it? To witness you giving as good as you got? Pen, it was like being deprived of air and suddenly breathing.”
I understand, because I’d felt the same.
“I didn’t want to be parted from you. Not after only a few hours. And, yes, I should have just been honest and asked you out, I know this. But after a lifetime of disdain, I couldn’t risk it. So I made up a lie and hoped it would give me more time to be with you.
“Only, a lie, once uttered becomes a tangled web, doesn’t it? I had you, but not for real. Even when I could finally admit how much I wanted you, I couldn’t admit the full truth. Because I might lose you.”
With this, he slumps back in the chair and eyes me with a mix of trepidation and a bit of defiance as though he’s sorry about the lies but not the fear of losing me.
And for a heavy moment, I can only stare back.
“You did all this—” I wave a hand in the air to encompass the whole of his deception “—because you wanted to spend more time with me?”
“Yes.” The confession is tight, his jaw bunched as thoughbracing for impact, while, as for me, the worry and fear slides from my shoulders. Something else replaces it. Light, fizzy. My head feels like it’s floating. He’s shocked me well and good. And my brain seems to be shorting out.
“March said that you’d been into me for a while. I didn’t believe him because, well, you’re you and I’m me. Now you’re telling me it’s true.”
August shakes his head with a huff. “Sweets, it truly amazes me how you don’t want to believe this.”
“Excuse me, but I’ve only had... oh, a lifetime of thinking something entirely different. It takes me a bit to do a one-eighty.”
“I get it,” he says with a tinge of irony.
“I’m not sure you do. August, I like who I am. I know my worth. Which means I know, without hyperbole or subterfuge that, when it comes to the outside world, you and I couldn’t be more different. With or without football, you are a star. People draw close as though you’re their center of gravity. I don’t begrudge you that. In truth, I love that about you. But me? I like to observe. I like the sidelines. I’m not the heroine who goes on adventures. I’m the side character who blends into the background. The idea that you even saw me... well, it’s a surprise, is all.”
“I told you before, you never see yourself the way I do.” He leans in, a fierce look in his eyes. “You say you’re a side character in everyone else’s story. In my story, Pen, you are the main character. You always will be.”
I breathe out a soft “Oh!”
“Yes,oh,” he snaps gently. “You stubborn woman.”
“I’m stubborn. That’s rich.”
His lips twitch, humor lighting his eyes. “Fine. How about fairly clueless?”
I should be insulted. But the fact is I have been clueless. I’m amazed about how much. Besides, he keeps looking at me with that tender gaze, as if, even in annoyance, I’m precious to him. It squeezes at my heart and makes me all fluttery.
“I’ve never been able to think clearly when it comes to you,” I confess.
At this, he smiles, a slow unfurling that pulls wide. “All right, then. Let me be crystal clear. No more lies or evasions. Just the truth.”
Slowly, he rises from his chair to sit at my side and take my hand. “Penelope Morrow, I have been in love with you since I was ten years old.”
My world flips over on its axis. “What?”
